93crawler

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This is absolutely hilarious, and just enforces my thoughts and opinions on people who are homophobic/Republican. Below is an article that goes about detailing how Macdee's donated 20 million to a gay and lesbian group, or roughly one-one-thousandth of their annual profit. What follows is some of the funniest shit I've seen in a while, from actual customers, or former customers of Macdee's. I've italicized the customers responses, and all their glorious, the gays are out to get us, comments. I love the first entry, and how grammatically incorrect his comments are, really points to who actually eats at Macdee's. I also love his or her spelling in the entry as well--awesome. I personally can't stand the food, and haven't eaten there in over 8 years, and I rarely eat any fast food.

McDonald's Makes Jesus Cry

There are billions and billions of reasons to hate McDonald's. They took the McRib away, for one, and that burns. (Sometimes I almost wish I'd never loved it at all.) There's at least one good reason to like McDonald's: They're being boycotted by the American Family Association.

What did McDonald's do to cross the AFA, its president, Donald Wildmon, and -- by extension -- Jesus (R-Nz.)? They donated $20,000 to the National Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce. McDonald's' revenue runs about five billion dollars a quarter, so you can see their profound commitment to destroying the family through sodomy.

The AFA says that by donating one thousandth of one percent of its 2007 earnings,

"McDonald's has chosen not to remain neutral but to give the full weight of their corporation to promoting the homosexual agenda."

Which seems like a kind of shrill definition of "full weight," but maybe it's like the Quarter Pounder®, and it's the weight before cooking that counts.

It feels a little like the American Family Association was looking for someone to boycott and it was just McDonald's' turn. They've already boycotted Sears, Kohl's, Kmart, Target, Old Navy and IKEA. As a result, they're naked and don't have anywhere to sit. The McDonald's boycott follows boycotts of Burger King, Carl's Jr., 7-11, Proctor & Gamble and Kraft, which means Donald Wildmon hasn't eaten anything for sale in America since the late '70s. You'd think he'd be dead, but no.

(He's a good guy. I'll bet he loads up on locusts, beetles and grasshoppers, like it says in Leviticus. The same book that -- there's no getting around it -- says homosexuality is an abomination, absolutely as heinous in G*d's eyes as strong drink.)

Does the AFA hate homosexuals? Absolutely not! It says so, right on their website, under the heading and sub-head: "Does AFA Hate Homosexuals? Absolutely Not!"

Should McDonald's take the boycott seriously? The customer is always right, I guess. (I think that's from Deuteronomy.) But McDonald's might want to think about the kind of customers they're losing. They appear to be lunatics.

Oh look, here are some of their thoughts:

"YOU DID NOT BILD YOUR COMPANY ON HOMOSEXUAL PEOPLE! IT WAS BUILD ON FAMILY VALUES! MAN,WIFE.CHILDREN!MOSTLTY CHILDREN! THEY DON'T COME FROM HOMO PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"What next, Adam & Steve in the children's happy meals? i WILL not condone the Corp. of Mc Donalds to force me to shop where it is not in lign with my believe in God and HIS scripture..."

"I have stopped at my last McDonald. If you support homos, that is fine with me. I do not have to eat your burgers. Maybe there are enough homos around to keep your arches open."

"I suppose next the playground will be open for pedifiles in order to not offend them."

"You have joined God's list of enemies!"

"What's next? Support for the Man-Boy Love Association! This shall not stand!"

"The McFaddin Family will vote with our Money and Feet and take our business elsewhere! You can stuff your Happy Gay Meal and Happy Gay Agenda where the Sun don't Shine!"

"If the McDonald's heirarchy thinks we'll buy their burgers and support deranged homosexual activists who force their lifestyle on innocent children in the public schools, they had better think again. Their burgers now have a smelly odor to them."

"You advertise straight to children (Happy Meals). Can anyone say pederasty? This lifestyle' you embolden is really a deathstyle!"

"The only thing you'll be cooking is yourselves, for eternity."

"the next thing you know RONALD will be molesting our children. No big macks for this family."

"Are you also going to support open activity between man and beast? You are helping to open the door to bestiality, sex with children, plural homosexual marriages and the list goes on!"

"Dear, McDonald's. Last week I ate a cheeseburger at your restaurant. If I would've known it was created by gay loving hands, I wouldn't have purchased it. Don't you guys know gays were behind the holocaust? First Jews, and now the family. What is next, McDonald's? Are you going to help gays eradicate sand? WHAT WILL WE DO WITHOUT SAND!?!?"

"I recently saw two young teenagers making out. I figure McDonalds is no longer my kind of place. I think the sixteen year old worked there."

I just had a thought -- honest to God, I swear this wasn't where I was heading with this thing; I was just going to make a lot of snotty remarks about reductio ad absurdum and the McFaddin Family's feet -- but it occurs to me that McDonald's has done something brilliant:

They've deliberately offended a demographic they don't want.

For just $20,000, they've chased off all the crazy people who hang around McDonald's sputtering and ranting and making me not want to eat there.

It's genius.

Now, if they'd just bring back the McRib.

thecowboy

"enforces my thoughts and opinions on people who are homophobic/Republican"

What an interesting statement in this context. First of all, writing "homophobic/republican" seems to imply that all republican's are homophobic. I am republican and am surely not homophobic. In fact, I have had some gay friends who are republican.

Further, I believe one primary complaint about McDonalds in the mainstream media is that it is cheap --> poor people eat there --> black people are poor --> black people are being oppressed because they are forced to eat food that is unhealthy. Now I'm not trying to establish a causation/correlation link between the message and the messengers in what you posted, but it seems to me that there is a good chance that at least one of the comments is from a black person.

And don't most black people vote democratic?

Isn't it ironic.


Don't ya think?

kulotsalot

So.. is this article from The Onion or what?

There are just some days that call for a Happy Meal + fries. I'm sure god would agree.

Car Enthusiast

dollar menu more than makes up for whatever they did

licupssy

It's not an article per say but a blog post on http://www.huffingtonpost.com/

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I solemnly swear that I am up to no good! ~~~SWTWC

CD

Such brilliant writing! And to end it on wanting the McRib back is glorious... and true. Those McRibs are tasty!

But as far as some of the opinions go, it's sad to realize that there are people like that living in America and "teaching" their kids.

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Sheepe

That last customer comment there:



Brilliant, just brilliant
What will we do without sand?

-Sheepe

93crawler

Yeah I guess I misstated the amount, it was 20,000 and not 20 million--just off by a little bit! As far as the gay comment and what Republicans have to do with it, yeah I'm sure there are a few Republicans that aren't homophobic--I have a friend that is Republican and one of our friends is gay. I've seen a gay group on tv, that lobbies for gay issues, that is associated with the Republican party. But in comparison, the Republicans are the party of white people in general, and the Democrats are the party for everyone regardless of color, sexuality, or anything else for that matter. Furthermore, I could readily quote you about how you say black people are poor--so is this all black people? I'm sure that's not what you meant, and I read through that assuming you didn't mean that, maybe I was wrong? This was supposed to be a funny article after all, and you took all the funny out of it!

FattyJJ

Proud (read: stubborn) Republicans seem to have that effect.


Religious fuckheads like this are all over the place where I live, middle of Georgia. These are just more angry people who cannot accept responsibility for their lives, and need a mystical man in the sky to tell them how to live.
They think that God blessed America, and that if America doesn't bow to the churches will, God will destroy it. Kind of funny that the people who say they love America and its ideas so much are the ones tearing it apart from the inside.

I think anyone that takes a book written by men and believes it to be gods word is ignorant and it makes me sad. It also confuses me as to how a person can take a book, that's message is peace and goodwill, and use it to create so much hate and destruction.

If god was really as spiteful and vindictive as he is said to be, he would have blown up the earth a long time ago.

thecowboy

It's funny to make a sweeping statement that republican's are homophobic? It would have been funny if you didn't infer that a certain group of people were making those statements. Sorry. And I didn't say that black people are poor per se. I merely stated that that is how the argument goes. For clarity's sake, I also don't think that black people are oppressed because they are forced to eat cheap food.

thecowboy

Proud republican's? I don't even understand what you mean? My world-view just seems to line up with more in the republican party than with those in the other.

93crawler

Dude, you really need to simma down now, the article is supposed to be funny. Yes, as I already stated in my previous post, not all Republicans are homophobic, but the majority of them are--and true, there are probably a slim number of homophobic Democrats as well. I could once again say that you think that all black people are poor, you said it in your original statement, and didn't rescind that comment in you next post, but I just naturally assume you don't really think this--but maybe you do? Laugh at the damn article, and quit bitching so much, about trivial things--Jesus!

kulotsalot

This is bugging me so here goes:

Republican = singular
Republicans = plural

Republican's = possessive (singular)
Republicans' = possessive (plural)

kthxbai

BackdoorJesus

hmmm...methinks that if the allegedly "open minded" and "progressive" contingent of this board were less hasty to attach labels to people that did not necessarily agree with some of their viewpoints, their humor would be more readily appreciated.

Having said that, funny article...

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