89tracerman

click on one of our sponsors! OR REMOVE ADS

Here is the deal I am 21 years old, i started dating this girl when i was 19 she was my first and only, but i was her 4th. recently it started bothering me that she has been with 3 other guys in her past. she told me that she regrets her past, and wishes i was her first too. I know its her past and it shouldn't matter but it does to me. I talked to her about it and she told me she didn't want to loose me she is even willing to let me go do 3 other girls, but i don't think thats right. It really bothers me and i dont know what to do, i truly care for her, but i know deep down that i want a girl that hasn't been with that many guys. what would you guys do? is 4 people alot? how can i make it not bother me?.
BTW we are both 21 and have been together for a little over a year and a half.

Juan.©amaney

lol see this is why guys under 25 shouldn't have girlfriends. dude, whatever she did in her past had nothing to do with you. as a matter of fact, you asked her to be your girlfriend knowing she had a past (they all do in a way). it is stupid for you to feel like 3 other chicks would fix it, because unless she nailed one of the 4 while she was dating you, you have nothing to say about her past.

grow up. get over it. love the one you're with or move on.

___________________________________________

Bigeme

I feel you man. If you agree to do 3 other girls, or even one, its going to screw up your relationship.

I know its hard. I definitely struggle with it. The real danger for you here though is if you want to marry her (which I think is pretty stupid until you are in your late 20s) you might be tempted later in life to find out whats out there.

My advice: Be happy don't get married prematurely and hopefully if you do end up staying with this girl for like 4 or 5 more years you'll accept her past. I'm not much older than you and not much more experienced, so take it with a grain of salt.

number1mikafan

I agree with Juan 100%.

It bothered me so much that my first had been with 12 other guys. But she got tested and was totally clean. So I had a choice, either let it bother me, or have sex with her. I chose the latter and am so happy I did so.

If it bothers you that much.....break up with her. If you wanna stay with her....gotta get over it.

kulotsalot

The only sexual history you guys should be discussing right now should be along the lines of "let's get tested and make sure we're both clean" and "how do you like X". That's it. Whether she's been with 0 or 50 guys shouldn't really be a concern of yours. Unless past sexual history involves something crazy like rape or some other form of abuse, you have no business sticking your nose in it. She can't erase the other 3 guys, and you can't screw 3 random chicks to even things out. WHY do you feel like this is important, anyway?

Do you feel like she is constantly comparing you to the other 3 dudes? Do you feel betrayed that she could either sleep with the other guys without being "in love" with them (in your mind she's beginning to sound like a heartless whore, maybe?) OR that she loved 3 other guys enough to sleep with them (now it's sounding like you're not special)?

The fact that she is saying she is "willing" to let you even up the score sounds like she's got some self-esteem issues going on there. If a guy insists on digging up my sexual history and then cannot handle the truth, then he is GONE.

jeffc574

It is hard to follow Wise Juan and kulotsalot, both have provided you with sage advise you should follow.

You doing 3 more will do more harm than good. Stay away from that.
Both of you get tested. Yes, even though you said she was your first, you should get tested too. It is apart of the loving you and lets get everything out.

Just forget the other guys she has been with. It will destroy you. Am I better? Bigger? and all of the other thoughts will kill your relationship, so don't go there.

Stay well away from weddings until you are both over 26, and that includes setting a "date" for the spring of 2013. Just go with this flow and see where it goes. You both should get your educations and careers in order first.

siopawman

maybe you're watching too many porns...

if you can't get those 3 guys off your head, which i don't know why it concerns you a lot (unless... you know them personally???) then give your self a break. don't show her that you're really thinking about it, but do the thinking when she's not around.

you'll be surprise that no matter that how hard you think about these three guys, your girl would still be there for you and wouldn't care about her past. you're her present, and you should be her present as well. don't dwell into the past.

CD

Sounds like you just need to grow up. My opinion... you are insecure about your lovemaking skills since she can compare you to 3 others, and you can't compare her to jack shit.

So she has more past then you... so what? If you let it bother you, and you break up with her, then all of a sudden you have a past for the next girl to come along. Let me ask you this... what if you meet a girl that has only had 1 previous lover, but they were together for 3 years and had sex 100's of times... would that be better or worse then a girl that has had 3 previous lovers of only 1 or 2 times each?

___________________________________________

rbster

Dump her. Play the field. You're too young and will regret not having experienced other women down the road if you stay with this girl.

By the way, 4 is not a lot.

gen. cutter

why do you care about her past? why should she care about yours? what difference does it make? really.

everything people do before you met them is there own business. in the future, because i doubt this relationship will end up in marraige and till-death-do-you-part, dont ASK and dont ANSWER how many people you've been with. keep the mystery!

in fact, as a rule: the less you tell your lovers about your past, the better!

Pshyco_Hispanic

Yeah same shit happened to me with my ex. I told her I cheated her 5 times(it was 2 actually) because , she made me pissed off. She told me that she saw her ex and her ex told her that this was the day he met her and all this BS. Since the day I told her that it all went down hill. She even told me to have sex with other girls but no kissing involve because I was about to leave her..(It was the same day btw). She was really hurt telling me this and was actually crying because she didn't want to lose me. Now im single beacuse we lost trust..I REGRET it but fuk it life goes on....Basiclly dont do it and TELL her beacause it will go downhill from there. Do it but dont tell her.. I cheated her and told her when she told me to fuk other girls, I was lying when I told her I fucked 5 other girls.

liqidvenom

you might need to start acting like an adult. what did you expect her to do all of her life before she met you? you cant be mad at someone for living a life and enjoying herself. she does not regret what she did in her past, she is just saying that to make you not feel so insecure.

i havent slept with a girl that only had 3 partners, i kinda like to lay pipe with someone that has some experience to know wtf they are doing. and not to burst your bubble, she probally had way more then 3 guys but said three to judge how u will view her and you failed horribly.

phenetik

I had a similar problem when i was way young, and i grew up and realized that it doesnt make a difference. The past is called the past for a reason. And 3 isnt alot. In my situation it was 15. It ended badly and i learned from the experience. If you cant handle it, move on. Sounds like you both care about each other. So if its true then move past this problem.

Dorkerbiter1

Love the one you're with. Her past shouldn't make you feel like you need to even up the score. Both of you sound like you have some issues to deal with(Her letting you bang 3 other chicks[NOT RIGHT BTW], and you WANTING to).

Talk about it in the open. It will make you feel better.


Edit: CD has the best avatar on the site BTW.