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When was your first true relationship (as in not fooling around, but serious)? Just curious cause I'm 19 and I've never experienced "love."
lol sounds cliche, but I'm feeling somewhat lonely as of late.
Thank you for your understanding.

BackdoorJesus

At 19 you don't need to "experience love" so much as you need plain old "experience".

Don't make the mistake that so many of us do (and did) and get involved/tied down/married even, before your life is on track.

That means education first, career next, THEN a "relationship".

All good things in all good time...just get yourself as much ass as possible while you get what is REALLY important in order. I assure you that if you focus on that, "loneliness" will be the farthest thing from your mind.

___________________________________________

CWB

yeppers ... i agree with what BDJ said .

from the old pablo cruise song "you're out to loose" : "when you think that you need someone you're better off on your own ... you're out to loose ..."

good song man .

KVargs

I agree with these two. I had a high school love/serious relationship 3 years ago and it devastated me when it was over. Now I'm having trouble with the dating game again...Enjoy yourself while you're young, don't get tied down in anything too serious until you're older.

kulotsalot

I kind of disagree. I think people need relationship experience in general (waking up next to a diff. chick each weekend does not count) because when you *are* ready to settle down, you *do* want to be able to draw on your past relationship experience so that you can deal with stuff that comes up in a mature manner. I'm talking about things like how to fight without fighting dirty, having mature discussions about relationship stuff like sex, money, faith, etc.

I'm not saying marry the first girl you get serious with, but definitely DO get into a couple of relationships that last for more than a couple of weeks before you're of the marrying age.

If I was in the market for a husband and the guy I was seeing said something like "I focused on my education and my career, therefore I have never had a serious girlfriend until now" I would dump the guy. To me that means he has no relationship skills whatsoever.

JacksonAces

Kulotsalot speaks the truth. My first "real" relationship was senior year of high-school and my first year of college (I've never had a gf for less than 6 months, I know, I'm weird). In the end, it was one of the most painful experiences of my life, but I wouldn't trade it for the world. I learned so much about myself and women and love that it has allowed my current relationship (now in its third year) to prosper, with no forseeable issues. You will find the one you are looking for, if you just look. Don't sleep around though, in this day and age, that's actually pretty dangerous.

If you're feeling lonely, ask that hot barista at Starbucks to go to a movie this weekend. What's the worst that could happen? She says no, and you are back where you started. Oh well, at least you don't lose anything.

~jack

Lazer

I see BDJ and CWB's point.
But lean more towards Kul's and Jacks advice.
Sexual experience is needed, But so is Relationship experience. and sleeping around is scary as hell these days.

Seems like every hot chic from High school I ever wanted to bang has the herpes. and that doesn't go away.

Just set your goals, Don't focus on being lonely, Because it will consume you. and if something comes along, Well take it for what it is. Just go with the flow, And get out there socially.

msub

Some good things do come out of trying to maintain a serious relationship, even at that age. Although education and career should come first. If you try to seriously tackle all three at once, at least one of them is going to lose out (IMO).

If you do end up in something serious, you'll at least learn about what you want in your mate. If you get involved with a girl who lacks a certain quality, you'll be sure to know to look for it in the next. The same goes for if she does something batshit crazy, and you'll know to run away in round two. You're not going to be able to take test drives or anything, but this is a natural consequence of investing your time and emotion into someone who you don't know as well as yourself - and trial and error will be your most likely venue of learning.

I don't think you can really "look" for love. If you're feeling lonely, just hang around your friends and do things that are fun to you. When I was with my girlfriend, it really took away from all the things I'd put my free time into (like working out). If you're lucky, you'll be doing your thing and bump into a girl who happens to do it too.

Bigeme

My only real comment is, for me at least, random sexual encounters only make me feel more lonely. I would even extend that to trying to date someone who I wasn't *really* interested in just because I was lonely.

Love stinks. The only way you can be happy for the rest of your life is having experience to judge who you want to spend the rest of your life with accurately. And that means some hardship.

My first real relationship didn't start until I was 20 and a half years old. If you are looking for solace in being alone and not having a real relationship even though you are 19, don't sweat it. I thought that I'd never find love, even so far as to say that I didn't even believe it was possible, but it's there. I know what it feels like and the next time I feel it I want to make sure that its better than it was this time around.