Junger

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I currently rent an apartment in Los Angeles with a friend. It is a two bedroom apartment with one bathroom, one kitchen and a living room. We both have long term girlfriends, mine for 3 years, his for about one and recently due to some events, she is now at the apartment pretty much every day. We are all taking the winter session at college which meets four days a week, Monday-Thursday and she has class a the same time as he does. I would be completely fine with this save for the fact me and her do not get along.

I have put on a happy face in the past few weeks to try and get through the days that she is here but I now that she is over more, I don't know if I can handle it. She is only 18 and lives in a city, 25 miles away from the apartment and the college. Now, I am not unreasonable, but she has made some bad choices. She dropped out of college after a week, ran back and then decided to go to our community college. She cannot drive and does not have her license and given the fact that she has been spending the past 4 nights here, it looks as if she is here for the whole semester (6 weeks).

This beckons the question for me. What exactly is she entitled to? Is she required to pay rent. I pay a hefty 900 dollars a month to stay in this apartment and my friend covers the other half. If she benifits from the exact same uses of the apartment as do I, is she then obligated to pay for a third of the rent. Don't get me wrong, it isn't like she can't pay it, she has mommy's credit card. Given the nature of this all, I am going to talk to my roomate first and not make a huge deal out of it but what do you guys suggest. I am very personable and like people but the whole daddy's rich little spoiled girl hanging in the apartment 24/7 doesn't fly with me especially since I need to concentrate on college.

Thanks

Juan.©amaney

CSULA or UCLA? (edit) nevermind, just read that you said semester, and those schools are on quarter.

First off, are you month to month or did you sign a lease?
Second, you should really be talking to your roomate about this.
Third, do not get involved in any type of argument with the gf. Your stuff can go missing pretty easily.

If its a lease, it depends who's name is on it. If its just you and him, then she isn't entitled to anything and you can't force her (legally) to pay anything. Do yourself a favor and go through it VERY carefully and read the parts where it talks about guests and how long they can stay etc. If you feel he and his guest are causing you to break the lease then move out. If you can afford to be on your own, do it, its better. If you would rather not move out, hash something out between you two that signed the lease. Make sure he knows that you didn't agree to this and that if an extra person is a permanent fixture (meaning there more than 75% of the time) then your portion of rent/bills should decrease.

If your girlfriend is there just as much, suck it up! Some women are just bitches. Actually, they all are at one point, some just more than others...and they will agree (although they might not like it).

If its month to month, talk to your boy about this and tell him how you feel. No free lunch!

Tell us more about it.

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Junger

Well she actually went home tonight so I'm a bit relieved. I was convinced she would be staying the entire week. What you said makes sense though Juan. Thanks a bunch and I will let you know what happens. I guess I can just suck it up. Its just annoying to have your roommate having sex at 4 in the morning. But then again, I can probably talk to him about that. Also, I guess I kinda hate how she takes him away from everyone in our apartment. She is very needy. Anyway, thanks for the help.

CWB

man , this is sounding more and more like a scene from my past and those of my friends ... well , certain elements common to all of them . it's surprising how how many times over the years and across generations similar themes have been played out . juuussst change the players/actors . ahhh , memories .

yeah , it can be a tough situation . many years ago , myself and two friends "split rent" on a place . we all had girlfriends , friends in common and friends not in common . the food situation was rather difficult to work out and wound up in a mess more than once !
you have not mentioned any of the "fine points" like the one above so i will assume that it is worked out .

when two people of agreeable personalities "split rent" on a place it is not that hard to make work . sure , there are some rough spots but thru communication most can be worked out . up the number to three and it gets a bit more complicated . add "friends" and it becomes more diffcult but workable . add "significant others" to the mix and it really gets out there .
basically what is happening is that the more variables there are the more complicated the dynamics of the system become and thusly harder to stabilize ... and smooth running is essential for any household to be productive .

possibly the "significant other" factor carries the most ability to throw a monkey wrench into the works , next to some lout not paying his fair share .
you have not mentioned talking to your friend about his gf and her actions in any small way ... if your friend was really your friend he would have talked to you about this situation before it became one in the first place .
it is called being mature and having respect for others ... not being led around by some whiney spoiled "momma's girl" who's got ahold of his dick .
and this is where it gets different ... basically , like juan said , you don't want to get in the middle of them two or you will just be a SOB to both of them . by the same token , you have to treat them as a unit (be it what it is) .
it is difficult to look at a "friend" that is being "led around" and say what needs to be said .
perhaps realizing that what he does in his personal life is his business but when it spills over into your life , then it becomes your business as far as the effect it is having on you ... you aint got the right to tell him who to be with but you damn sure got the right to tell him where his actions/choices are interfering with your sanctity (aka : stepping-on-yer-toes) .

waking you up at 0400 whilst reveling in the throws of carnal pleasure ? methinks not ... i'd have been pounding on the wall . hey , if you have no more respect for others than that , you get what you ask for .
your friend is taking liberties with you and thusly is (and has been) taking advantage of your good nature .
while it is good that his gf "when elsewhere" , i would bet that it is temporary ... it wouldn't surprize me if she went to get more clothes and other "personal trappings" .
the bottom line is that you are going to have to have a talk with him about this situation ... period . chances are this aint going to get no better on it's own .
if you want to keep your friend as a friend then you may just have to cease cohabitation and find a place of your own .

and what about the strain on the relationship between you and your gf ? it seems to me that she should be a priority ... i know my gf is in my life ... damn anybody (and their bs) that is a detriment to our relationship .
hey , how about you and your gf getting a place ?

many years ago i went thru (and so have a lot of others) the same sort of stuff that you are . there came a point where i had to do what was correct ...
not what i wanted , liked or would have chosen to do but rather what i needed to do .

nobody can fault you for doing what is right and just .

Junger

Thanks. I will have a talk with him. She is here again tonight. Takes a one night hiatus and then is back to the same old shit.

Juan.©amaney

That has absolutely nothing to do with you. All he needs to do is follow the rules of the lease, and his guest and what goes on between him and his girl is none of your business, contractually speaking.

No offense, but that sounded kinda gay.

Any time you go into an apaprtment with a friend, you are stuck with his or her drama as long as the lease exists. Sure, comon decency is expected, but not guranteed. For all you know, he might be a nudist tomorrow and walk around naked all the time.

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kulotsalot

As far as her "taking him away from everyone in the apartment" that is her prerogative and that is not your problem. It only becomes your problem if it interferes with one of the things that you agreed to split beforehand (chores/money-wise).

The fact that you mentioned that actually sounds just a teensy bit needy... unless this is one of those types of friends who you grew up with and spent your whole life hanging out with and then all of a sudden BOOM! there's a GF and he's unavailable. Still doesn't make it your problem but it at least explains why it would bother you...

LEGEND-K

rent another apartment,or step to your friend and tell'm you will pay only 1/3 of the rental fee if the girl will be staying with you 2 any longer.u live your life for youself but nobody else,if u are not happy your friend won't neither,otherwise he is not your friend.that's what we do in china,that's fair.i man the younger generations.