powder19

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Hey guys and girls,
so I'm really stuck on what to do with my girlfriend. Shes amazing and I'm very in love with her, but over the holidays she went back home to see her family and ended up walking in on her dad cheating on her mom with another woman. Now her parents are in the middle of a bad divorce and my girlfriend is on her way back to move back in with me. I'm really trying to make her as happy as possible when she gets back with the hard times that shes had lately. I wanna make her dinner and have the place cleaned up and nice for her when she gets home...do you guys have any suggestions?? Is that too much? Will that make her feel bad?? Ever since this happened shes been a different girl and completely lost her interests for now and seems really disconnected from what she was before this happened. I wanna make her happy and cheer her up, I just don't wanna go overboard and piss her off...let me know what you think I should do, thanks for all and any advice in advance

maggiesdragons

Just be there for her, give her your ear and your shoulder to cry on. I'm sure that she is just crushed right now with finding out that her dad was cheating on her mom, especially if she's a daddy's girl. it is a huge change to go through. clean up the place and cook her something simple, not like mac and cheese but like spaghetti or something like that... just make her feel loved and the laughter will soon follow, right now a little normal wouldn't hurt either.

shiiboi

Well, just LISTEN to her. Don't try to cheer her up, or tell her what to do. Ask her what she wants.

She has a grieving process to work through. And you should be warned that one of the early stages of grief is ANGER, and she'll probably turn a lot of it on you.

powder19

Thanks Shiiboi and maggie, you definately make some good points, shiiboi you're definately right on the anger point, I've already been dealing with that, but shes worth it and I'll be there for her, thanks for the advice

koniec

instead of a dinner of something where she can think about the situation try taking her out somewhere where she can totally forget about it. take her out on the town. drinks, food, nightclub (if you guys are into that). When my woman was going through some tough times the best method i found to make her feel better was to take her "away" from her mind for a bit. hope that helps

siopawman

not all girls are soft or would get really depressed after what happened. i thought its almost natural for westerns to divorce? had this idea that marriage and divorce are easy.

but that was just my idea, i haven't gone to any western country anyways. so, if she's mad, let her get it all out. but make her feel that you won't leave her. cleaning the house is good. cooking dinner for her is also good. but if there are moments when she wants to let her anger out, ask her what you could do to. if she says none, try to listen to her. sometimes, silence is better.

some girls aren't fond of surprises, and sometimes surprises get out of hand.

have some more patience with her coz she'll need them (both of you would need it). tell her that some things are just not her control, and she just can't save everyone. what happened, already happened and happened for a reason. make her feel that it won't happened to her and that you won't leave her.

Devone16

be the listener.. she is gonna need it

Tairos

It is; roughly 50% of marriages end in divorce, and it seems that the wife tends to do well for herself as a result, though I wouldn't call it "easy".

kulotsalot

The way I see it, there are a bajillion thoughts and emotions going through her head right now. She is probably hating her dad, championing or questioning her mom depending on how her relationship is with her (did she drive dad to cheat sort of thoughts), on some level doubting the strength of all relationships in general and maybe even wondering if you'll do the same thing at some point in your relationship.

It'll be a long road for sure, and you'll have to change the way you deal with things depending on how she will be feeling. Making her forget for a little while is good, but remember that she has to work through the whole process for herself so sometimes, just let her cry or scream it out without trying to fix things.

I guess just be there for her and try to show that you won't screw her over the way her dad did her mother, without being too much of a pussy in the process.

powder19

So I have been there for her and she finally broke down and told me she needs to be single for awhile and figure things out...I'm not one to keep her down and not let someone I love go free, but it still hurts, is there any advice here?? We are going to breakup because I know we have been through so much and I have a really good feeling we will get back together and she needs her space, but at the same time I feel completely uncertain and I feel like I'm losing my best friend and I did nothing wrong you know? Any advice would help...I guess for now I gotta roll with the punches, I love her to death and have been through a ton of crazy experiences with her and know we'll get back together, but its still hard right now...help me out:(

canu

Just keep doing what you're doing make her happy if she loves you like it sounds
she will come around,just wait and see.

uacmarine

I hope for your sake that she didnt have her dad as the only 'man' she'd ever known growing up...my ex ran into a similar situation, and while it seemed to be working out for a few months she eventually just gave up on us because she had only had her dad in her life being the only male figure in her family...i hope it all works out for ya dude...

tres28ram

Wait until she brings it up, then listen....don't interupt, listen....

powder19

thanks for all the advice...for right now we're takin a break but we're together...its wierd, we both need some space for now and figure things out. Unfortunately her father was pretty much the only main male figure in her life other than myself or previous boyfriends shes kinda lost a lot of confidence in any males, so I'm not sure whats gonna happen, hopefully it all works out