skycatcher

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So here's the short version of the story:

I've fallen hard for this girl. The girl, however, has a choice to make. It's me or another guy...

She's never met the other guy, but has been talking to him over the phone before we even met.

+'s
===
*We've been on a couple dates, we talk on the phone every night
*Hold hands and make out
*she's already met me
*we live close to each other
*their relationship would be long-distance

-'s
===
*She still wants to meet the other guy
*he's going to stay at her house for a week
*met him before me
*I told her that I wouldn't try to have sex with her for 2 weeks because I want a relationship and not another fuck buddy... maybe I should fuck her though because I would hate to lose her to some guy that comes over and fucks her while I try to be nice...

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So... obviously my time is running out seeing as the other guy will be staying with her on the 14th.

So, drastic measures are needed... hence one of my ideas where I need input:

My plan is to drive up to her street and park my car along the road (there's no traffic since it's a dead end street) and literally pitch a tent.

I'm going to set up a 6-man tent right there on the road, padding it with sleeping bags to keep it comfy on the inside.

Leading from the tent to her door I'm going to have 2 rows of tea lights illuminating a path.

A bottle of Sparkling wine in the tent

and maybe a few roses waiting for her.

the car will be parked behind the tent so I can play the cd I'm going to make for this event


Incase you're wondering, we're mid 20's...


So... although this idea may strike you as being gay, it's not. And if it is, well I have a way about me to make it seem sincere and well.... not gay. So seriously... what else haven't I thought of?

Obvious problems that come to mind are:

1) Should I pour tequila drops on the tea lights seeing as it may be windy and I don't want them going out right away (and it's going to take a while to light 30 candles with a lighter)...

2) How would I keep the tent warm on the inside?

Any other comments/suggestions are welcome...

jShizz

I'm sorry, but you are going to set up a tent on the SIDE OF THE ROAD? I think not. Then again, I don't know where you live. I would say thats suited for a fun and crazy night after you guys are bored of fucking, not for a first attempt at an sexual encounter. But thats just me. I would rather be wined and dined and carried back up to the bedroom.

But everybodys different

skycatcher

Yeah I'm in Germany so the roads are different here. It's perfectly safe where she lives.

I'm not out for sex though... if I wanted to fuck her then I sure as hell wouldn't try this way. This is more of a romantic get away for a couple hours.

Fucking is easy... getting a relationship going and having her pick you over him is hard ><

kulotsalot

Honestly, if she's letting the guy sleep at her house then I think you're pretty much out of the game at this point in time. Unless he is actually "just a friend" but I don't know, seems to far-fetched since they've never met and all that.

I don't know, sounds like a bad situation overall.

jShizz

Your not trying to fuck her by presenting her with roses, alcohol and candles?

Anyway, I think good ole fashion communication is the key. Just tell her you dig her and would like to get to know her more. If she doesn't act on that, she's not interested.

skycatcher

I know, this whole situation seems far fetched but it's actually reasonable in this country... The guy lives like 3 hours away and they agreed to meet up before she met me, hence him staying at her house. She wants to meet him so she can make up her mind on whom to pick, which I think is still ok since she told me about another guy when we first met.

I really don't like the idea of him staying at her house though because I think that if they do hit it off even a little they'll probably end up in bed together and sex can have a huge impact on your decision making abilities.

I told her that I wouldn't sleep with her for 2 weeks so we can see how we work as a couple though... seems like now adays people here meet, fuck, then get to know each other and it doesn't work out too well in the long run.

So... should I stick it out, sleep with her on the 13th and then wait as the guy spends time with her on the 14th or should I say fuck it, and have sex with her before the 2 weeks are up?

My foot is already in the door but I don't want to force it and have her back away because I'm being too aggressive. On the other hand, I don't want to play 100% nice guy and have this other guy come in and take her away.

What would you do if you had 2 guys to choose from?






Seriously no, not yet anyway. I'm trying to get her wrapped around my finger basically.

She's not very materialistic so taking her out to a fancy restaurant isn't going to score as many points as doing something that doesn't cost any money but has some thought behind it. She also doesn't appreciate me paying for everything and since she's in a financial bind at this time she's kind of avoiding things that are expensive. This is why I figured we could snuggle up in the tent for a while to show her that I'm willing to go an extra mile to be with her and proving that you can still have a romantic evening without spending money.

jeffc574

Um, Maybe some things got lost in the translation. You told her you would not try to sleep with her for 2 weeks? That may not of gone over so well. Forget the tent. Ask her her intentions with her house guest. Is she planning on him staying in his own room? If she thinks she doesn't need to answer the question or gets offended, you have your answer. I know he is thinking he is getting some.

You may need to just wait out his visit. Don't be a pest, you will lose her for sure. And don't camp out. That is just desperate.

On the other hand, flowers arriving (delivery, not you) on his first morning at her place, could be good.

shiiboi

Seems to me these are the relevant statements:

You may have 'fallen hard' for her, but she clearly doesn't share your intensity or she'd be telling the other guy 'sorry, but I've met someone,' not 'come on over.'

You may want to reevaluate whether you're being a bit too intense since you only 'been on a couple of dates.' You might be reacting more in competitive jealousy about the other guy than having genuine feelings for her.

As far as the sex goes, forget the 2 week waiting stuff. It sounds romantic, but it's really just kind of silly. If you both want to do it, just go for it. And definitely before the other guy shows up, 'cause I'm betting he has no such silly romantic notions.

BackdoorJesus

I think you're being an overachiever & will push her away.

Leave her alone, completely, and let her come to you (or not).

Truly, just be unavailable/unreachable for a while; generally speaking women are more interested when you ignore them, and at this point it sounds like she's playing you for a sucker.

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CD

I agree. If you start to romance her right before other dude comes over, she knows she has you. Your best bet is to back off and make her want you. If she doesn't, no worries, because those romantic things you did would just have been a waste of time and money.

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travcook

I wouldn't play that game with her man, if she's letting this dude sleep over at her house then it sounds like game over for you. BUT, if you are going to do it, then yes on the tequila drops.

fmb

Aww... Forget about it. Don't try to be the nice guy, you'll only lose. At best, tell her what you think and how you feel; if you get nothing back, move on.

Juan.©amaney

Do not pass go, Do not collect $200.

You're done. She knows you and has had contact with you and STILL wants to meet the other guy. Why do you want this skank around? Why are you setting yourself up for this? Why are you putting up with this? If she doesn't think enough about you to not have to see what's out there, what makes you think a few months or years into this she wont get this feeling back and meet another guy who is better than you? There are lots of guys better than you. She knows this and thinks she has a chance. You were done before you even wrote this thread.

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powder19

I'm sorry buddy, but trying to win her heart is a bit too late with romantic moves, I dunno how things run in Germany, but if I was with a girl that came off as being somewhat serious I would in no way agree to her having another guy stay at her place with her for a week...if she can do that with a complete stranger, why hasn't she done that with you...its to the point now that you have nothing to lose, you know she wants this other guy, and you know that if you play nice, shes gonna run right over you.....you might as well tell her how you feel about the situation and face the truth....she'll either realize you have balls and give you respect, or she'll shut you down and it was never meant to be....never put yourself in a position which you can lose...right now your plans are putting yourself in a position to lose and nobody wants that...if she cant decide, then give her less options..