Maggot_6669

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I have this problem and I have only told a couple of my friends but they only laughed about it and judged me for it so they weren't any help.... I really need help so here is the story...

I have been going out with this girl for three months and she is great. Her last boyfriend raped her so she was kind of scared to go out with me at first and on our first date she told me not to expect to get laid because she wasn't ready and she wanted to get to know me first. I told her that was fine and I wasn't that type of guy(which I'm really not). The first two months we were together we spent pretty much every day together and all of our friends have said we are perfect for each other. The third month she said she trusted me and she was ready and I said ok even though the truth is I wasn't.... I have this problem "down stairs" and I didn't quite mature like I should have... I talked to my doctor about taking pills or something but he said it wouldn't work because they never work. He said the only things I could do is deal with the problem or get surgery. I've been looking up my problem online and it turns out only 5% of guys have the problem so its pretty rare.... My doctor said it was probably because of all the steroids I had to take as a baby because everything went wrong with me from when I was born to age 5... I can't afford the surgery because it's thousands of dollars and I don't have it. Im also embarrassed to tell her because she's a great girl but I don't know if she'd want to stay with me after I tell her and Im afraid if she does stay that its too small to have sex.... The biggest problem Im having is that I dont know how to explain something like this to her. I cant figure out how to bring it up in conversation and shes getting pretty mad at me because every time she wants to start doing something I pull away and make up some stupid excuse...

This is a serious post and Im not joking.... I could really use some advice is anyone has any or knows someone in my position... Thanks

kulotsalot

Quit doing the pulling away thing. She trusts you enough now to have sex with you, don't ruin that trust by rejecting her every single time she makes a move.

The best way I can think of to deal with this is to find some reputable medical site about your condition and bookmark it. Depending on your style, sit her down or send her an email along the lines of "I really appreciate that you trust me enough to move our relationship to the next level. I have a medical condition that you should know about, and to be fair, I don't think it is right to take the next step until you know of it and we have talked about it." Then send her the link or sit her down at your computer so that she can read the whole thing.

This should save you the embarrassment of having to explain the whole situation to her and not knowing what to say, or worse, finding out after you drop your shorts that she won't have sex with you because of the condition that you have.

Master this technique - sounds like you'll be doing this for the rest of your life since surgery means $$$.

draxonwhite

how small are we talking about? are you sure this isn't just a self-conscious issue?

Devone16

I'm at a loss. i would really like to help. What is this condition called. I'm gonna look it up myself. I work in a hospital, so i will ask around and see if there is anything that you can do. I do know that honesty is the best thing. You may find that if the girl is really into you then it won't matter since they are 90% emotional anyway. Why do you think they like watching girl on girl action sooo much.

Maggot_6669

Its called micro penis

hirollcenter

If she's into you the way it sounds she wont laugh at you she will do what ever it takes for the two of you to enjoy each other.If she doesnt she's not the girl for you. There more ways to be sexualy pleased then from long stroking, if she's into you...

Juan.©amaney

Sup dude. Sucks you had to go through this kind of stuff as a kid. Second, she was raped...I figure it would take a little more than a few months to regain trust, but whatever. Was the boyfriend put in prison?

Now about your deal. Everyone at one point or other has had a case of whiskey dick. That's when you are too drunk or otherwise unsober enough to perform. Usually, it is made up by a lot of oral and fingering and sucking of body parts. Some women actually find this kind of sexual foreplay more joyfull. If I was in your position, I'd go ahead and follow through with it a few times this way. Then, I'd let her know what was going on with the peepee. You can substitute your peepee with a dildo etc. and if the relationship is good, you guys can live a regular life because we all know sex isn't everything in the relationship.

You really shouldn't be in here talking to strangers about it, you should mention it to her.

HOWEVER....you seem pretty bummed about this. If you don't think this relationship is serious enough to where you want to marry the girl, I'd hold off. Yes, this is ME telling you to make sure....me...anyone who reads my posts knows why this is kind of weird. But I digress....the reason I mention this is because if stuff doesn't work out, women have a tendency to blab about shit like this. Word will get around about your dick and this could pretty much fuck you up in the head enough to where you start to hate girls...and then who knows what the hell can happen.

Cliff notes:
1. Use your tongue, fingers, and toys.
2. Don't rush into things.
3. Talk to her only if YOU are ready.
4. Be prepared to deal with it if you follow through.

___________________________________________

SC/TGrandAm

Best advice about the marriage and girls blabbing. Oh yes it's true. Hit the nail on the head there.

fmb

Apparently, there are two schools of thought here. First (led by kulots) is talking with your lady about the issues you have; the second is led by Juan. Both sides have credence, as there are two sides to every story. Should you talk to her? Yes, you should. Is there a possibility she will tell others about who (and how) you are? Yes, because women talk amongst each other; hell, women use about 15,000 wrods more than men each day during regular conversation.

I guess things come down to this: do you want to have a sexual relationship with her? If so, there is the potential you may experience a backlash in the future.

God luck and keep us informed!

kulotsalot

The only thing I have to add to Juan's comment is that you probably cannot get away with that for too long until you have to explain what is up. While being on the receiving end of pleasure without the pressure of reciprocating sounds great, it wouldn't take too long for me to figure out that this sexual relationship is pretty lopsided and it may bring about a barrage of questions in her head. Am I not attractive enough, sexy enough, sexual enough etc. for him to want to actually have sex with me? Does he think I am lousy/may have poor technique etc.? The list goes on. So I would say this is a good "stall" idea and it proves that you can still be sexual and please without penetrative sex, however, do not think that you can get away with it for long. Probably 4 encounters tops, maybe a bit more coz she was raped which might change the dynamic a little. Anyway, eventually you will have to talk about it and deal with it so good luck with that.

CWB

i agree with the general drift of a few of the replies .

sooner (as opposed to later) you will have to get honest with her and yourself . while there is no "good" way to broach this subject with her , if you want the relationship to progress then you are going to have to take some chances . only you can deem if it is worth it or not .
i would not say that sending her an email about your "condition" is exactly in good form ... she was honest enough with you to tell you personally that she was raped , don't you believe that she is worthy of being told personally of your "condition" ?

if i have a condition or situation that would affect another in a relationship then making that known early on is the best thing i can do .
if i go around making excuses and beating around the bush , the other person may just start thinking that they are the problem . low self esteem knows no bounds , and this girl most likely has some of this going on right now .
i do not have the right to save my own skin at the expense of another .

the bottom line is to either tell her the truth or terminate the relationship before there is more "emotional investment" in it ... it just makes it tougher and rougher ... for both of you .
nobody can fault you for being honest .

Maggot_6669

Well I told her and at first she didn't know what to say really but after a few awkward minutes she said she's ok with it. Only thing is I'm not sure if she ment it or she was just saying that because she could tell I was really embarrassed.

recon82

Give her time...if she can't get over it she's not worth it.

My pectus excavatum isn't my greatest feature...but my gf seems to love as part of me, she even states "it's a good place for her" lol

Make sure you find someome who loves you for who you are, all of you.

flaker

I remember hearing years ago that african males would hang weights from their penis in an effort to stretch them out and make them longer that may an alternative to sugury and alot cheaper.