1337Ares

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I'm not sure how to start this and I'm very introverted person so i don't tell anyone whats on my mind because i don't like people to know what I'm thinking, which is why I have turned to this forum so hopefully i can sleep after this.

anyway my girlfriend's best friend just moved to Vancouver, BC, Canada(its on the pacific coast of Canada if you don't know). She went to visit said best friend a few weeks ago. now she had talked about moving to Vancouver for a long time prior, but once she came back from her trip she was in love with the city/university campus. so now she has decided (85% chance) that she will transfer to that university for next fall semester. The great thing about that university is that it has a big biology dept and she loves evolutionary biology (there is even a major focused on this) now i'm a neuroscience major and this school and any school in that area, have very little to offer me; some don't even have a neuroscience dept. Both of us want to get out of the city we grew up in and start new (another reason why i don't really want to follow her) anyway I decided on moving to Halifax (on Atlantic coast of Canada) which has a huge neuroscience dept and its a beautiful campus. I was very excited with my decision. but now I'm laying in bed and I've started to think about her, I'm getting sick to my stomach. I mean not only are we going to different schools but they are on completely opposite sides of the country. Now these schools are the best choice for both of us she gets to major in something she loves and I get to attend a big name university with one of the largest neuroscience depts (The university we are at right now is the second largest) in the country. Some of my nerves are probably coming from the thought of leaving home which I've never done before, but I love her.

I don't know what i expect you guys to say i think I'm just trying to get this off my chest . you will prob say something to the effect of its whats best for both of us and I'm only 19 and there are tones of other girls out there.... which is all true and sometimes i think that way but then i start missing her just thinking about leaving..... we are pretty much the same person just she has larger breasts and is much better looking. its a long way away so i guess i can wait to make my final decision. (please excuse my grammatical/spelling errors i don't feel like editing .... this is why I do Neuroscience and not English.... i don't have to write papers)

thanx for letting me vent

DDGuy

You are just 19????? relax and go for your studies.....there will be enough time later for girls......it really is a no-brainer....but then I am 36...much wiser than I was at 19

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LurkerPatrol

Lol @ DDGuy's response. You sound just like my parents right now (I'm Indian too). It's uncanny XD. No offense DDGuy, I'm just saying how Indian parents are all about studies first girls later and all that, I remember when I told my parents about my gf Anna, they said the exact same thing.

But seriously dude, I understand what you're feeling right now. I'm just confused about one thing though, and I know you're introverted and not really prone to letting it out (though it is better to vent than to store). Are you guys staying in the relationship, or have you guys decided that a long-distance relationship will not work? I just didn't get that from your story. If you could elaborate on that, we could move from there.

Actually in fact I will answer this right now for both cases. If you and your gf are still talking, still maintaining the concept within your heads that you are still together, then I would try to visit her often (as often as you can), to upkeep the relationship. I've never personally had to do such a thing, but I've had loads of friends who had long distance relationships and talked to me about it all the time. Some worked, and some didn't (mostly because of their own faults), but I can assure you if you play your cards right in terms of keeping contact, you'll do fine. I know it'll be hard to go see her often and whatnot, but try your best. If you can't afford to, DDguy is definitely right. Focus on your work and put your girl behind you. I can tell you that that is not going to be easy to do, and may result in stress or depression, and the best thing to deal with that is.... dun dun dun... another girl (but from your school, and if possible your age/year).

I didn't go for another girl when Anna broke up with me because it was messy and horrid and I didn't really want one. I found other passions and did better in all the other things that I'd lost when I focused on the relationship. Anyways, before I swerve off topic here...

Case #2, where you've decided that a long-distance relationship won't work or you guys have broken up. If you're still looking at her pictures, or her IMs and other things that remind you of her, and you know for sure that she doesn't want to be with you, then pack all those mementos in a box. Winzip up all the electronic files (photos, IMs, amateur porn vids, what have you). This way, you won't be reminded of her. Putting them in a box may seem kind of odd since you can open it anytime, and look at a picture of her, cry, fap to, and kiss it. But I did the same with all my mementos and I completely stopped forgetting about Anna after day 1 or 2 of doing that. Since you have to put in the effort in opening the box, unzipping all the files, you won't do it (at least I know I wouldn't... I'm a lazyass =P ). It adds an extra step, rather than having it readily available, and that makes all the friggin difference.

Apply the last part of Case 1 to this as well. Find a new girl to placate your heart. Download more videos from this forum , play games endlessly, do your work by using up all that emotional energy to solve equations or understand the properties of the brain, go out and workout or get into a hobby. All those things will help.

Most importantly, we're here for you man. If you ever need to chat, just PM me. I hope that helps. Godspeed, good luck, may the force/porn be with you.

BackdoorJesus

Yeah dude you answered your own question - you're 19 & you'll get over it, plus at 19 you are WAY too young to be in any sort of "committed" relationship.

As DDGuy said, it really is a no-brainer - focus on getting your education down & tapping as much college-girl ass as humanly possible before you are locked into a long-term relationship.

Nice that you're venting, that's healthy, but don't wallow - chalk this one up to experience and move forward.

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Juan.©amaney

http://forums.webrats.com/thread114373.html

more importantly:



and also




You already know whats going to happen. Why don't you just turn your brain off and enjoy yourself?

Trust the people that tell you they've been there before. Takes a while, but you'll get over it. She's hot and all, but you know what's hotter?...2 chicks at once.

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BackdoorJesus

you haven't lived until you've had a midget chick give you the rusty trombone.

I'm just sayin' - at 19, there's a lotta stuff you haven't even thought of trying, don't hold yourself back.

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jShizz

If you are going because of a great school, go, but don't go because of her. You are both too young to be basing anything on a relationship.

Focus your time on school and having fun with your friends. Your not even 21 yet! With that comes a whole new set of problems/responsibilites/inner demons.

theworldismytoy

I'm going to be the devils advocate here and say that if you think a LDR will work, go for it. I happen to disagree with the idea that 19 is too young for a serious relationship because everyone is different and you know what's right for you. It may be the case that for the average 19 yr old serious relationships are silly but not everyone falls into that category. You have to go with what your gut tells you but speaking from personal experience (I'm 20, in an LDR and have been for since I was 18) they do work, the key is a strong friendship and good contact. The internet is great for that. What you can't do is be so hung up on your relationship that you miss out on all your school has to offer both academically and socially. Trust in another key issue in this case, you both need to be able to accept the fact that you will have new friends of both sexes and it's ok to be with them without getting jealous. It wouldn't hurt you to talk to her about this too to see how she feels and see what direction she thinks your relationship is going in. One thing though, if you can't even imagine the possibilty of being with her for the rest of your life that might be an indication as to where you are headed.

Just my 2ct. Hope I helped.

jShizz

Exactly, but your are 20. We are talking 2 years, not a successful LDR for 10 years strong, ya know?

It is true, not EVERY 19 year old is the same, but 99% of them are. It is just a fact that you haven't had enough life experiences to be able to say for sure you are ready to settle down.

Juan.©amaney

All I gotta say to the some of them work out thing...a guy once fell out of a high rise building and lived....but I wouldn't recomend taking divers out of windows.

I stole that from Leikus....that man is a genius.

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1337Ares

yeah I applied already and she is pretty much for sure going to Vancouver so there isn't really a question if ill go or not. I was just thinking about missing her that night. We have known each other for years so we have ended up being best friends in the past year and a bit...... we both already decided that we couldn't do a long distance relationship ..... Im way to physical for that. I mean its not all bad im going to live in dorms so im sure there will be all kinds of girls there and im not worried about finding new girls as im a pretty big flirt and have never had problems with girls ... I just know ill miss her but hey who knows what will happen down the road. we are staying together until we go our own ways. I've never had anything except for long term relationships I was with one girl from grade 10 to grade 12 then continued sleeping with her until i started dating this girl (end of my first year of university) and have been with her since so i don't really know anything different.

thanx for the support guys
James