Juan.©amaney

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Here's a story I'd like to share with you guys.

Years ago, I started dating my first ever girl friend. We went on through a very bumpy 6 years and it didn't end well...quite frankly, the last 3 years were honestly the worst of my ~30 year life.

While dating the first gf, I was really good friends with someone from school who I knew had a crush on me, she was cute and I liked the attention. It was obvious to others including that first GF. We had a lot of problems because of her.

I went on to stop talking to that friend during the last 3 years of my relationship with that first girl in an attempt to TRY to make it work. When I broke up with that first girlfriend, I started talking to the friend again out of spite for the other one. The friend had a BF at the time, but she loved the attention I gave her.

We started semi seeing each other with the condition that it wasn't legit. She was ok with it cuz we were both getting more from each other than we were with other ppl...also we liked the fact that it pissed my first gf off a lot and it was a way for her to get back at the guy she was seeing; he still talked to one of his exes.

This is where shit gets fucked up. PROOF that women their age don't know what the fuck they want.

The first gf dumped the bf she got with after me and ran back to me when she figured out there was something going on between me and that friend I was "seeing". I took her back as a thing on the side, mainly for the sex and some had to do with feelings. I was also seeing a 3rd girl but whatver, I had no attachment to her just a pretty face.

All 3 were fighting for my attention for a while and that was a really big ego boost for me. The first to get tired was the 3rd girl and she remained a "friend." She was engaged and married within a few months...so you know she had something going on on the side as well. Eventually the 1st gf grew weary of it and left as well...I was in my manwhore phase at the time and she wasn't my top priority any more. Me and the 2nd girl continued having fun...her and her dude were having problems as well and I was always there to talk and help her get even.

We (friend and I) kept our shit pretty much secret since I'm not the type of guy you want to tell your parents you date...It was all good until I actually started feeling for her. What I did then was start acting like an asshole...Its a defence mechanism and I was trying to spare my feelings.

After a while I started seeing the mexican girl. She's cool and I dig her a lot. She's the only one I call my gf and the only one I'll have around family. If it wasn't for some trust issues about shit she lied about that really was of no concern of mine and the fact that she is in another country, I'd be her husband by now. We've had our ups and downs and when it looked like I was really happy, the friend started calling more often again

I was confused...a lot. The first girlfriend wasn't even in the picture anymore, save for sending a text message every now and then or an email just to kind of hold on to some part of her past? Don't care, it was all instigated by her...she even added me on her friends list on myspace exclusively to post bulletins about how bad her first BF treated her...I was like, buhbye bitch.

So...at some point in time, we were celebrating the friend's birthday. I got to the bar with another friend (guy) and she was there with another dude. She was REALLY drunk and she forgot about the dude she was there with. Stuff happened in front of a lot of mutual friends...something we promised we would never do. After they all asked what that was about the following day, she made it seem like I took advantage of her because she was drunk and I came out looking like a dick. For ages, they thought I crossed the line by taking advantage of a drunk chick...until a mutual friend kind of opened their eyes to something...

What our mutual friend did was call her out on the fact that around other friends of hers she would brag about us saying she had me wrapped around her little finger because I took her out and bought her drinks and made her happy and junk. Then he called her out some more about other stuff he knew about. So she was made to look like a bitch, my name cleared, and the friends will once again smile to me...but you never really recover from something like that. Whatever, engineering chicks arent all that hot anyway.

I was literally heart broken during all of this because I thought she would be a WOMAN about things and say, yeah shit happens when you're drunk, and leave it at that. Still having the mexi girl friend, I stuck with her after I was pissed at the friend. The mexican girl had some issues of her own that were pushing me away but we resolved them and I came clean about stuff I had done.

After that, I stopped talking to the friend alltogether, rejected her calls, and her voicemails and emails and texts...it got pretty bad at times...it had been about a year this last September since I last spoke to her. Things with the mexi gf are like whatever but in a good way. She gets on my nerves like most any woman does from time to time and sometimes she's needy and clingy and I'm not the type of guy to be like that with, I'm too independent. So I often have "no reception" etc. when I need to be left the fuck alone.

I got a phone call today. I go through cell phones like I go through beers cuz I drop them and mistreat them a lot. So the friend's number was looong lost in some random skanks sofa or back seat or something. It ended up being her that called, acting all friendly and asking if I wanted to go out.

Why, you might ask? After a year of avoiding her like the plague did she want to hang out? PRIDE!

At a last shindig with the college buddies, she came up in conversation. Any time that happens, everyone looks at me, giggles, and they calls her my gf. They all wonder if we ever slept together etc. since we kept stuff real low pro. I shit you not when I say I'm a gentleman when it comes to chicks I know and talk about in front of other people that know her. I never give a straight answer when asked if I sleep with them. But I digress....

At this shindig, I pretty much told everyone that what she did was stupid (the whole pretending she was to drunk to defend herself against my advances) since a lot of people already assumed we messed around, they pretty much agreed. I told them I quit talking to her for her games and I had moved on to other interests...mainly, making money and seeing the mexican whenever I feel like pretending I have normal feelings. I still whore around, but that's a part of me I wish I could change so maybe I can settle down and keep just ONE woman miserable the way it is meant to be ahaha.

The mexican loves me more than I love her and she knows this. She is immature and doesn't know the meaning of life yet, and I don't want to have to bring her out of her world into a strange one she doesn't know to teach it to her. So no marriage for me any time soon. She knows that too. If she feels like sticking around, good, if not, no biggie.

The conversation with this other girl today was mainly her appologizing and wondering if I was still mad, mixed in with some I love yous and I miss yous and an invitation to a party with her work friends this weekend. I was polite and told her I'd call her, which in Juan talk means, thank you, but no. She'll keep calling me, no doubt, and I'll just let her talk to the voice mail.




So to summerize....3 girls in this thread have ever really meant anything to me, and you can see that I obviously meant something to them else they wouldn't deal with me, my mood swings, and my tendency to treat them like crap. I'm not a total asshole and I do remember nice things, but in essence, I'm not marriage material unless you like egomaniacal jerks who will put his perosnal interest before you.

I wont lie and say I don't love them all for what they were and one for what she still is and I'll be a man and say today's phone call kind of shook me up. You have to be a man about things sometimes and you can accept feelings. Just don't let them guide you into not being comfortable with yourself and your future. Can't give a woman all your love or all your money, cuz when she leaves, you end up with nothing and have to start over from scratch.


What I can tell you is, I'm not the same fool they knew that couldn't help himself. I can tell them all to fuck off in a polite way, and I know more than one will call me when I've already asked them to leave me alone for a while.

When I give you all advice here, I wish I knew someone like me that could break it down like I do and given me the courage to actually listen. Not saying my advice is golden, but in the interest of the average american 20 year old, this is the type of thing you need to be listening to. It's getting harder and harder for a man to make it big in this world, and women slow you down. No offense ladies, but you remember what you were at 22 so don't say it's BS. All you helpless romantics, FUCK OFF, Prince Charming got the herp from Snow White and gave it to Cindarella who in turn gave it to her step sisters....it's how the world really is. If I would have done this, I would have avoided so much drama and trouble. I needed Leikus BIG TIME! But I wasn't 101ed yet.

These 3 girls I can honestly say were 8+ and damned near 10's when they worked it and dressed up. I was with them all from size 34 to the biggest I was sized 42. Looks, weight, and to a lesser extent, money have nothing to do with getting women and having them chase after you like you were the last cock on earth. Its knowing how to treat them and keeping them wanting more that gets it done.

(edited so its easier to follow)

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msub

What do you consider a "late bloomer"?

I didn't find my first girlfriend until I was 20, and I'm pretty sure I'm a late bloomer. By today's standards, any ways.

Juan.©amaney

number bug

19 the first time I had sex. 18 the first time I really kissed a girl. Before that, I had issues with self esteem. I was like Booty.

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msub

Do you ever regret being with your first girl for six years? I only ask because I see myself in slightly analogous situation.

Juan.©amaney

I don't regret what I have done, because it means I'd be a totaly different person than who I am now. But I will tell you this...if I have a son who is ever in a similar situation, I would tell him to run like hell.

I accumulated so much debt, lost sooooo many opportunities, lost contact with friends, my family thought I was a moron....this chick was a total bitch and I was the only one who ever thought anything positive about her and thats including her immediate family. They'd go out of their way to exclude her from activities...I always thought it was me, until I hung out with them without her a few times.

I'd be a helluva lot better off had I dumped her that first REAL big fight we had around the 3 year mark; at least financially and family wise.

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jShizz

muthafuckin

Juan.©amaney

^^^ been through shit as of lately, is a year younger than I am and I would be in the same boat had I "settled down" too early.

Hang in there Shiz!

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fmb

Juan:

I've only been here since the first of 2007; however, this is the longest freakin' thing I've seen you put into words! In many ways, what you wrote speaks volumes about who you are and what you've experienced. I've read and replied to many things you've tossed out, including a few about me. In the end, I always felt I learned something from your thoughts, ideas, and humor in the posts around the forums.

You said you were a "late bloomer". So what? I see you as being in a different stage than most. Some did what you are now doing in his/her earlier years; some have yet to make it to where you are. You've given many great advice about life. This is very good, as many have not practiced what he/she preaches; hell, you live and practice what you preach. Can you ask for more? I don't think so.

One day, you'll wind up out of your neighborhood, with 2.4 kids, a dog, and one hell of a mortgage. Personally, I think you'll have got much out of your system and will have a very good life.

"Good things come to those who wait."

Okay, it's probably bullshit, but it sounds good.

Dr. Weezil

Get a cat. When you understand cats, you'll understand women.

Juan.©amaney

No. You can run over a cat and not have to call the cops. Can't do that with women.

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fmb

Yeah!!! To hell with a cat! No one will truly ever understand a cat, much less a woman; however, they do taste good with BBQ sauce...

uacmarine

which one, the cat or the woman? im not sure about the cat, but i can see how the woman might