SC/TGrandAm

I have a feeling your ex is my ex.... lol. Or perhaps identical twins separated at birth.

tarun_sharma

well good for you that considering how morose you sounded in your first post, you've moved on well ! long-term relationships that end can be very painful to get over, but eventually, when you're clear-headed, it just dawns on you that you're probably better off without her. as for her being pregnant with your kid, remember one thing, if its true that she's pregnant, that kid COULD be yours. you may be very bitter at what she did to you, but if there's even a chance that the kid could be yours, you have a duty to perform as well. and if its not yours or she does'nt really happen to be pregnant, then its probably best to move on.

michaeljohn

well, the answers above have been great, I'll add a few tidbits....Look at it this way. You are finding out now she isn't playing with a full deck. Better now, than down the line. Not saying you don't need counseling, but what about her? Even if you do get back together, it's probably only a matter of time before she does this to you again, or worse!

So, consider yourself single again, ignore her, and start dating new people.

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tarun_sharma

yup, single for all practical purposes, but still a little responsible dont you think ? that child COULD be his..

CD

Her saying she's pregnant is the oldest trick in the book. The chances that she actually is pregnant is slim to none. So in this case... yes, he's single with nothing to worry about.

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masonx

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Some good answers here
Nice work Juan

fmb

Juan and BDJ have given some of the best advice I've ever seen. Listen to it, it will help. I've been through much myself and can tell you it will (and truly does) get better. Do yourself a favor: stay active and do something! This will occupy your time and keep you from focusing too much on what has happened; remember, that is in your past.

Do yourself another favor. Don't try to play headgames with her. Why? It keeps you in contact with her and doesn't help put her behind you. Another reason is to just not play games; take the high road and keep your head up.

Dr. Weezil

All good advice but I'll dissent and say avoid church, like the MF plague. You're emotionally fragile and vulnerable and thus suceptible to the kind of suggestion that churches ooze out in buckets and is NOT for your benefit.

I say also, go be a hound for a while, be a guy, oggle a bit. And try and find out what you did that made her go away; the attraction died and hence the relationship got boring for her and she split. Figure out what went wrong and don't do it again.

Bonecrusher

there's no sense in avoiding church. That makes no sense. If he wants to go then he should go. He might meet someone there or have some sort of life altering change occur.

It can't hurt things. I know lots of very good people who go to church and they aren't messed up in the head.

Anyway....aside from that.....like everyone else has said....it's better now than later.

find out why she broke up with you...was it her insecurity, her desire to further explore the far reaches of male anatomy.....was there something missing...did you have a flaw that could be corrected.......was it your insecurity and constant belittling of her, was it just that she realized that even though you make a good friend you two don't make a good couple?

Just be glad you aren't 50 and finding this out.

Get some new and go on.

chingon

Well im going thru a breakup but this time i was the one to break up with her.

She was kinda high maintance and after a year it kinda tires you, besides the realationship had been going downhill from the last 2 months the only thing keeping it together was the great sex life , but besides that we were figthing 90% of the time.

what happened it that she has a lil 4yo girl , and at the start was kinda cute and its surprising how easily you can pick up responsabilities , but the i realizedi didnt want to settle down @23 so i started to back up a lil.

i also spent a lot of money and i didnt even noticed how much i was spendoing eating out going to places almost daily and paying for 3 persons.

and about 3 moths ago we started to figt o the point where we would push each other name calling ,etc etc, and we i broke up with her, she got psycho , to the point that she bit me pretty had when she took my phone and i was trying to get it also i pushed her pretty hard .

afterwards we talked for a bit on msn messenger , and she tried the "im pregnant" but she forgot that 2 days before we broke up she had stained my sheets while having sex and that she told me that morning that she had a figth with her sister because they have their periods around the same days.

then 4 days ago i went to pick up my cell phone and she told me she went to the doctor and took a pregnancy test and was negative and she didnt had her period on time because of the stress.

its been 2 weeks since we broke up its kinda hard sometimes because youre used to spend the afternoons with someone , or call her , having sex everytime you want , etc, but when you realize how worse things could get if you continue that way.

i been calling my friends and trying to get my game back altougth i dont really feel like going out with someone else , but i been trying to invest my time and money in myself.

try going for a drive , dont call her , dont txt msg her , dont anything that just gives her more power and makes you feel worse.

Juan.©amaney

You're not doing it right. You should cut off all contact with her. This is not going to end well.

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skept

In a break up you cut contact mate. Seriously its over and theres no point crying over the past. Give yourself a bit of time to yourself to get your shit together then go out and get more tail.

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Remember, remember the 5th of November...

jasefm

I can't think of any better advice than has already been posted. I'm a P.I. Mind games will get you it trouble! I'm on a case where the ex-wife broke it to his house, he removed her, she had the 5 year old call the cops, the cops kicked down the door (he was the only one in the house, no warrent, ect...). He has maced, tasered, battoned... Bacsicly they beat the shit out of him and held him in jail untill his parents found me and I bonded him out. He has SEVEN felony charges againt him because he resisted arrest (in my view rightly so!).

Is she worth it?

jasefm

...don't play games. Move on and don't look back. You are not married (thank God). See how the kid thing plays out. The child might not be yours. In some states you only have a month to contest parturity otherwise even if it's not yours if she puts you down as the father you are stuck paying child support so watch it.