aaronm

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Reading through some of the threads and realizing many of us are in similar situations, I thought I would pose the question. Does viewing too much porn give men unrealistic expectations of their mates?

I would love nothing more than to have my wife service me like a porn star. Any way I wanted it and happy to do it. OK so that is not so realistic, I wouldnt want to put my wife in uncomfortable positions, inflict any pain on her or ruin her hairdue.

I view quite a bit of porn and wonder if I would even care so much if I didnt know what I was missing. But is it so unreasonable to ask your wife to help you with your sexual desires like anal, facials, role playing, feet, threesomes, etc. I suspect that there are actually very few women willing to be a porn star in the bedroom, that is satisfy thier man's every desire. Or am I wrong and where do I find these women?

ryster

With things like that, I don't really think you can broadly apply ideals and just find a variety of women. Everyone is different, and when it comes down to it, its just how they are. I think the best way is to try to be open about each others fantasies and what not, though I recommend being careful, and more importantly, sensitive. Sometimes, just the idea will offend her.

And I would say it is pretty unreasonable to expect your woman to satisfy your every [sexual] desire. I mean, would you hers? A threesome with another man? Strap-on anal?

clamsrus

YUp...reality is a little different from fantasy....realism can be someone you love looking hagard after breast feeding a screaming kid all night....and feeling about as sexy as piles after a hot curry!

Dr. Weezil

Also remember that when asked most porn stars say that their off-screen sex is markedly different than their on-screen "work."

Lazer

I was actually listening to an interview with a porn star not that long ago on Sirius who said that most porn stars are VERY monogamous.

As for the Thread topic
Porn can be an addiction for men as well. And actually affect their sexual performance.. Um yeah I have this friend.. Tom, yeah Tom thats it! He is addicted and has had problems because of his addiction. and it does affect their performance, The best thing is to use it sparingly. Believe me, I mean my friend Tom. the last few girls he bought home were not porn caliber hot. And there was definetly some higher expectations.

zand_stein

in my opinion, i agree to that because every woman have differences.. if youre married its hard to ask your wife to do anal or have threesome, definitely she will get angry because she is not comfortable with that........you make love with passion not with lust.....

umpire00

I think that it depends more on the age and experience of the person. A teenager will probably think that what is shown in porn movies is normal but as that same person gets more and more experience, they should come to realize that what they see in the movies is not how the real world works.

yammy

I think my man Mick answered this question well enough when he said those immortal words:



Absent living a life of decadence with the swinging sex crowd and giving up some other serious benefits of not, its up to you to communicate with the ladies on fantasy. Especially with kids, fantasy -- and a good old fashioned fucking like you used to when you first met -- is lost in marriage, hence that's why porno remains a refuge for more than a few fellas long into marriage and beyond.

Now, the one unrealistic expectation porn gives men IMO is that women are as consumed with sex as men. Really -- don't buy it except in very rare instances. Mens' sex drive is different than womens. We sit around and think about shit for hours and hours, visiting sites like this, etc. Women are not as wired that way and turn on differently, especially once they settle down. (Granted, that's a sweeping generalization, and not meant to offend those gals always thinking about sex... but most mom's working part time taking care of a house, etc... .shit... they like sex, but are fantasizing more about sleep and a hot bath - and when they have a break to think about sex, its about a weekend away where they can sleep, hang out with you and be a couple being romantic, and then fuck without distraction: note the package as opposed to the porno scene!!!)

Anal? Bring it up that you interested. My gal is not into it. Did it once years during one of the first times we had sex, and she's said never again. I wouldn't mind trying it again knowing what I now now, so I keep it alive, but as busy as we are -- i don't make it an issue...but it is a serious fantasy -- me in her ass with her using a vibrator. (I Can't help it!)

So I'm personally working on getting better on delivering what turns ladies on -- romance and, actually of all things, making their lives less hectic showing you care, care, care to go wayyyyy out of your way to make them feel better.

I'm working on that because its not easy, but as a very wise elder of mine once said, living with partner ain't about meeting each other 50-50, its about both going 70/70 --

Now, living on those terms requires communication. I know going 50/50 or less will leave me only one way to get my fantasies -- cheating with some chick looking for the same. Since that's off the table, I hope my efforts of going way out of my way will encourage her to go a little out of her way for some anal play... (and a threesome with some chick... and a.....) With that plan she's already grown to be a lot more open and into other stuff knowing I'm into it and has actually found herself enjoying what seemed to her logically to not be erotic.

I'd categorize porno addiction as a separate problem. If its ruining your family life and job, just like booze or drugs, get help.

BradleyNIN

Jackpot!

aaronm

Thanks for the advice guys. It has come up before and she is pretty much not interested in anything aside from the norm, so I dont want to make her uncomfortable by pushing it. I guess have made my bed and now ..........

whereigetoff

I've tried anal with my wife a couple of times with her permission of course and both times it hurt her.

I have to say that having an open dialogue about things that you'd both like to try and then deciding what might be fun and what would be over the line is the most important thing.

Back to my anal, store, the first time we tried it she screamed in pain so I stopped. The second time I just said fuck it even as she was screaming in pain and I just kept fucking her til I came in her ass. On one hand I felt really bad but then again it was kind of exciting (she really wanted me to do it) since when it was hurting her I was in total control of her and I kept doing it anyways. I still felt bad.

Anyways, she's offered it up since and I haven't gone back there again.

We've been experimenting with trying to find ways to make her squirt. And we've been playing around with fisting which is really great after she's been squirting.

Only problem with squirters is that the pussy gets SOOOOOOoooo wet it loses most of it's friction so it's hard to find a position that will actually make my cum. That's not exactly a problem, actually.

hey8hey6hey

YES. I have a sense of entitlement to wild orgies and boundless anal play... life is a bit short of that expectation. I wish I could film porn. At the very least it might turn me off the stuff.

Green Eyes

The most important thing in any relationship is to keep an open dialog, especially when it comes to things like sex. You will find her more willing to try things that you want to do if you do things that she wants to try. It's a give and take situation, just like everything else in a relationship.

yellowfish

i dont watch guy on girl porn
i only watch girl on girl
i watch how they touch each other and try it on the wife sometimes
it fun but little more than that
we have spoken of anal
she does not want it, conversation over