BadEgg

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Granted it's only been a week but my wife left and I'm not sure how to deal with the pain anymore. The worst part is she kept giving me false hope that we could work it out. Anyone have any suggestions?

OrdinaryGirl

I'm sorry to hear that you are going through a really rough time right now. Your life has been totally torn apart and the fact that time will make it better is probably not a big consolation right now. :(

I think it is important for you to be around family and friends who love you and can support you through this. Is there anyone close by whose house you can hang at, or eat dinners with, or anything so that you aren't just alone with your pain? Seeing a counsellor can really help you get through tough times, as well. It is not a sign of weakness to go see a counsellor. That is what they are there for.

Also, I would suggest writing as a therapeutic measure. Write her letters that you never send, and pour out everything that you feel: anger, sadness, betrayal at her leading you on. Anything to get your emotions sorted out helps.

Sorry again you're going through this. :( *hug*

BadEgg

Thank your for your words and concern, I'm actually going tomorrow to start counseling. If I could just fucking sleep!!!! But I have lost 15lbs in the past week.

steel_scimitar

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dude i felt the same as you when my fiancee of three years left me, devestated.hollow.unfeeling.no apetite but you know what it turned out to be the best thing that happened to me.

I realised the reasons why she left me, some of it was my fault and it was things i had control over. It made me take a step back and change my life and my ways, not to get her back tho. It just helped me knowing that something good was coming out of it.

I had a bad 6 months tho, went a bit wild. But then i met the love of my life and im now married. I was never this happy with my ex.

If relationships end, its normally for very good reasons. The fact it ended means you werent compatible, which also means there will be someone out there who is compatible.

time heals the greatest of pains (cliche but true)

I lost my fiancee (to another man), my mum(to cancer) my grandad (to cancer) all within 6 months.

does it still hurt? hell yeah, but im alive and im happy is there anything else i could wish for?

you wanna talk some more my email is steel_scimitar@hotmail.com

Juan.©amaney

:sigh: Bro, we're with you here. Here's what I did, surround yourself with fun people you enjoy and love. Get rid of anything that reminds you of her, if its too painful for you to do, have someone else do it for you. Dont look at any pictures. Dont have any comunication with her. Stay away from drugs. If you are a religious person, do your thing. But it will take many many many years and tears.

Whatever you do, DONT take her back, it only makes things worse.

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BadEgg

Well that is the revelation I came to today, and I told her that the hardest thing is getting over her getting over me. But it's not fair or good for me to keep up with what I have been doing. It's been almost 2 weeks and she is still the center of my world, and that is not healthy for me and I would like to be freinds with her but I guess I need some time to find me. It's hard because this is my second marrige and this one was supposed to last forever. So I went from mom and dad to my first wife (which I have 2 beutiful little girls, who have been a big help in this), then right to her. I don't know how to be alone. Sounds stupid but it's true. Now I have a huge house that I bought for her cause it was an older house (which she wanted) that had all the renevations done (which is what I wanted) and it was a block from my kids. Now my kids are moving to the next town for better schools which was my idea, and my wife is gone. I've never felt so alone in my life even though I'm surrounded by freinds and family that care about me. Hell even her family calls to see how I'm doing and have told me that I'm welcome as well as the girls are welcome and that all the stuff they got for us or gave us or helped us get is to be left for me and the girls. Anyway thanks for listening to me cry like a biotch.

Juan.©amaney

I hate the fact that crying is associated with faggadociousness. Dude, sometimes, it just helps.

Its excellent that you have everyone's support. Never forget that! You really do need to be away from her though. Nothing lasts forever, not even if both sides promise to ('til death do you part????) You just have to learn how to be on your own. You've gone through this before, you know what the drill is. We are here to listen and give ya support, and so is everyone else.

Even if you do sound like a little bitch! :dancefawk

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klaz

Gotta do something to get your mind off of things.. Do you have a hobby you enjoy that has been neglected??

Try hitting the gym to work out... it will allow you to physically blow off some energy and your body will feel better. It may help you sleep as well.

As for your mind.. just try to stay active and not allow yourself to sit and wallow in self pity, that will tear you apart. It is okay to grieve but don't beat your self up. Allow it to take its course and try to surround yourself with friends.

OrdinaryGirl

Just wondering how you were doing, BadEgg. Hope everything is okay with you.

Robb

that sucks man, my condolences

odysseusignmail

Klaz is right. Do some things to help take your mind off of it. The best remedy I've found is mostly time and friends/family. You can't linger on it too long otherwise it'll eat you up. Stay strong and positve!

whiteROB

I didn't read the replies, so if I repeat something, sorry. There are three things that will help you out some.

1) Keep your distance from her as best you can, and dont hold on to that false hope any longer because it harbors the pain.

2) A new woman. You need another one to get over the other one.

3) Time.

AmorMiHombre

No he doesn't....He said that he's gone from one girl to another to another and doesn't know how to be alone...He's like a chick who can't stand to be alone (no offense, but that's more common.)

Being independent and finding happiness with himself and all that good stuff is where he needs to be.

Go to the gym, read a good book, see a movie by yourself. And do all the fun crap with friends...that will help you...Running straight into more relationships before figuring out yourself is a disaster waiting to happen.

How's therapy and the like going for you? :wiggle:

Juan.©amaney

Hey hon', he didnt say relationship, he just said he needed another one

I agree though, learning to be on my own is the best thing I ever learned after coming out of my long term break up.

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