Bigeme

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So, my girlfriend of about a year and half now broke up with me last night. As far as I am concerned this was completely out of the blue. We haven't been having any problems lately and early in the day we were planning a trip for sometime in August.

Anyway so shes crying and kissing me and telling me how much she loves me the whole time shes doing it and then wanted to stay with me last night afterwards. She calls me this morning and tells me that she loves me and cares about me a lot. I just don't get it.

Seriously, I don't understand.

Weezer1982

All women are crazy. Love is for suckers. True Story. Sorry Im not of any help.

Te2ting

damn man, I'm sorry...I really don't know what to say in a situation like this but most likely it coulda been her way of "making you think" about how life would be without her.Maybe she thinks that you don't show her enough affection and by telling you it's over (when it clearly isn't) will get you thinking about how much you love her.Only thing to do now is wait it over and let things take their own course how they please(she might need some temporary space).Hang in there man and hopefully it'll work itself out. And if that doesn't work than it never hurts to talk to her, sit her down and just talk about what's been bothering her and hopefully you guys can fix the problem.good luck and keep us updated.... later

WARNING:THIS MIGHTBE A BUNCH OF NONSENSE B/C I SUCK AT GIVING ADVICE

h1ten

it seems that you love this girl very much so remind her of how much u love her bring bck the spark slowy first home made meal, them romanctic evening then romantic weekend. If she really wants to breakup truly then she won't let anything happen. But wait a few days for both of you to clm down and 'let the dust settle'.

mstad

Don't try to understand a woman doing something like that. You'll just drive yourself crazy, and you'll be even more lost in the end.

Green Eyes

Point blank. If you want to know what's going on, ask her.

zeppy

Best advice ever.

Just cut your losses and move on.

Bigeme

she wants to stay together at least a little longer. We talked and she doesn't have any reason for it.

I asked her what she wanted to change between us and she doesn't know. She said she definitely still wants to hang out with me a lot and call me and stuff like that.

I don't know. I got way to drunk last night. I just cant understand what it is that she wants to happen and why.

zeppy

The thing is, though, that now you're stuck in a shitty sitution. You're going to end up over-analyzing every single little thing that happens in your relationship from now on to make sure that you don't hear the good 'ol "it's not you, its me" bullshit that will invariably be heaped on to ya when she grows tired of it once again.

My advice still stands: cut your losses and both go your separate ways. This will serve to not only keep you sane, but she can take some time to get her mind in order and her priorities straight. Who knows... maybe after some length of time doing your own things, you will both realize that you both can't stand being without each other. Maybe one (or both) of you will realize that there's something else out there that should be searched for.

Either way, you'll keep your sanity. Sure, it will suck quite a bit, but dramatic girlfriends that do the "I still love you, but I don't want to be with you" dance are over-rated in the first place... been there; won't do it again.


Whatever you choose, good luck to 'ya.

Draggon

It's better to cut it cold turkey then the hanging thing, at least to start with. If you are not really together but hang out then you'll still be tied to her and her to you and it will hamper any other chances you may have.
Tell her that if the couple thing is over you don't want to talk or be together for a while. Maybe it will cement what you have or maybe you'll realize you're better off.

And good luck.

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HeavyKevvy

Dude- Take the advice. Move on. Seems to me this is either a case of a chick playing head games with you or a chick who is confused about what she wants. Either way you need to take care of yourself first and foremost and the best way to do that is remove yourself from the situation. I'm not digging this out of the blue break-up. There must be something going on behind the scenes. Get out with sanity still intact.

Bigeme

She has had a lot of issues in the past. She didn't grow up in the most loving or nurturing household and all of her previous boyfriends have been rather abusive.

I have gotten her to go to therapy and she has been on anti-depressants for about 6 months now. They have made a huge difference in her attitude and outlook on life. She still gets really anxious and has difficulty with somethings but overall she is much better.

She said that she doesn't want to break up. She just feels like she needs to in order to continue to grow. She feels like I am too reliable and help her too much and she wants some independence. She says she loves me, but is afraid that it is only because of the way I treat her and the things I do for her.

I just don't know she bought me a book yesterday and we had sex earlier today. I don't know what she wants from me. I am willing to accept the fact if she just doesn't love me anymore, but I just don't believe it from the way she acts and talks to me.

Queso

sounds like she wants to have her cake and eat it too. like she wants you to be around like a boyfriend would but be able to fuck other people i'd stay away

CD

Incorrect. She didn't tell you the reason, but she knows what it is.



This advice is GOLDEN! Hanging out will just cloud both of your feelings and judgments. In the end, trying to keep something there is bad for both of you, and I know this first hand. When me and my last ex broke up, she wanted more than anything to still be friends while I wanted a time of no contact. Well after she pleaded, I broke down and tried it her way... it failed big time. We still talk but there is one reason why the "still remain friends" thing will blow up in someones face...



Call me crazy, but since you aren't abusive and go out of your way to help her out, I'm wondering if she might have someone else in mind. Possibly a bad boy type that she's more used to. Oh, breaking up in order to grow is bullshit. It's a way of saying, "just in case things don't work out with someone else, you'll be there for me, right?"

My advice, cut contact for a while and let things work out on your terms. The most important thing though is NO SEX with her. As much as no sex sucks, my advice is from past experiences and therefor what I'd do in your shoes.

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