SgtPepperSpray

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I am single. I am also slightly depressed about my whole current relationship status. I got screwed over on a relationship not too long ago which sucked, but it made me realize how much I LOVE being in a relationship. Except I'm not exactly the, "player" type like some people are and I don't seem to be much of a chick magnet lol.

So looks like I am going to go about the good old fashioned route, of meeting, making a friend, and then moving to dating. Which is not terrible thing at all. I just suck at it. And now being out of school actually meeting new girls is a bit difficult. So I want to hear your stories of where you met whoever you are in, or where in, a relationship with. Or just advice on where you think I should try to head out to find that special someone.

skept

Where ever there are women there is the potential to find your next girlfriend. Its all about the confidence of being able to go up to her and say hi.

Alternative friends of friends, at a friends party etc. are all good alternative options.

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Remember, remember the 5th of November...

CWB

corrected for reality check ... / ... mia culpa !

like skept said ... friends are a potential source . however , if a relationship developed out of this goes sour chances are that "sides" will be taken (to one degree or another) ... the possibility of straining existing friendships exists .
you mentioned being out of school ... there are summer courses/semesters at most schools ... check for social activities to attend .
there are singles clubs ... they usually have organized activities of one sort or another ... this is a good way to observe people in different settings to get a better feel for their persona .

one "rule" that i have learned/seen is there are good places and bad places to find women as potential "others" in a relationship . remember , these are my personal findings : the worst place is a bar ... one night stands , ok , but chances are that if you found her in a bar , you'll loose her in a bar . a good place (as an example) would be a nice cafe' ... the waitresses work with the public and you can observe their personality/work ethic .
there are a lot of other places that the same ideas apply to .

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you mentioned something that raised my eyebrow : "I got screwed over on a relationship not too long ago which sucked, but it made me realize how much I LOVE being in a relationship" .

taking your whole post into account i would suggest that you might want to do a little work on you before entering another relationship .
now , i aint no shrink , but it sounds like you have a self-esteem problem and some co-dependency issues . these are two things that can lead a person into one disasterous relationship after another .
add a third one to the mix ... getting into another relationship right after getting out of one is usually not in ones best intrest ... vulnerabilty , self-loathing and a host of other "things" can cause you to compromise common sense ideas and wind up in a minefield down the road . the other end of this spectrum (cocky self-assuredness and bravado) can cause the same results .

as i say , i aint no head-doc ... these are things i have learned , both the easy and the hard way .

Queso

oddly enouth, that's where i met mstad lol. though we did become friend's first but even then, the only place we hung out with was at a bar. so it can work, it's just not the most likely place.

zeppy

Somehow the fact that you met mstad at the bar is less than surprising.



Best places to find teh wimmenz are at work and through mutual friends.

maggiesdragons

I met mine here at WebRats. also somewhere I wouldn't recommend.

mstad

There's more to it than just us meeting at a bar. Yes, the place where we met was a bar. But, we met through a mutual friend, and it just happened to be at a bar. There's a HUGE difference between that and just hooking up with a random at a bar.

maggiesdragons

Very true, and you guys are one of the best couples I know, right below my grandparents that... well they have been married for over 50 years. Might sound sad... but it is true.

thecowboy

Met my wife through a friend of my friend's girlfriend. I definitley vote for friends of friends. Makes social events easier too, as in, she'll have someone to talk to at parties and such and nothing will be too awkward.

yammy

Funerals, man.

No. Best place to meet them is living your life. Not half assed waiting to meet the right girl, but seizing the bull by the horns. You'll more likely meet someone who overlaps with your interest and passion. Go go go!

SgtPepperSpray

Hmm now I could be reading that wrong but sounds a bit like advocating some stalking. Lol, I dont know if that works or not but I do KNOW that is not really my bag.



Lol, damn you got self esteem problems and co-dependency issues out of me saying I was not thrilled bout being single and having gotten screwed over by a manipulative girl?

I aint no shrink either but I think I am better off then your prognosis gave me credit for. Rereading what I posted I can sort of see where you got that from though. Depressed is a bit of a harsh word to have used, and a lot of my other diction did sort of give off that vibe. I most definitely have had many self esteem issues in my life, but that said where I am at now is most DEFINITELY a pinnacle of self confidence.

The girl who I mentioned before, the one who I sort of got screwed over by, well she was a cheerleader. Not just a cheerleader, but Captain cheerleader, twice over one of which is an elite state wide team. She is also EXTREMELY smart (well usually at least), pretty damn good looking, funny and spontaneous. The fact that she stopped, took a look at me and went, "hmm well he is cute...." That is a pretty good ego booster. The fact that she went past that and got into a relationship with me, well come on what guy doesn't want a cheerleader? lol.

So CWD your right there are definitely some self esteem issues I got to keep in check, AND better yet I got a bit of a social anxiety disorder to work with too, YEA! But I really am not too worried. I have gotten ALOT better at ballsing up pulling my shit together and taking the plunge, whatever that may be. "Throw Caution to the fucking wind, and see what happens." That is the phrase I used to explain what my main goal was to one of my friends, and ever since it is how I have tried to live. I'll tell you it works pretty damn well. It is amazing the shit that you can do when you aren't so worried about perfectionism, and standards.

My biggest trouble is not having the experience and knowledge of some of my competition, I got into the game a little late because I let my fear inhibit me. That is why I figured I would get some advice from some people on what success they have had. I think that a cafe really does sound like a pretty good place. Hitting on waitresses seems a bit cliche, but I think there might just be some nice possibilities with the customers.

Friends of friends would BE great, if any of my friends would step up. lol. Actually most of them look to me to help hook them up. So sadly that door seems to be shut.

SgtPepperSpray

Thanks for all of the good advice though. I think you might actually have it though yammy. Funerals all the way, crying chicks are totally easy. Just kidding. I think you WERE actually right though. Just live life and find a girl that fits in with that, guarantees that we have something in common.

Thanks for all of the advice, keep it coming if you got it

jeffc574

I hate to sound like your mom, but meet women where you are doing things you like. If you like coffee shops, look there. But don't start hanging out there just to meet girls. If you like museums, go. ditto plays. A lot of women go to plays in groups because their SO doesn't like it. But, if you don't like art galleries, hanging out there to meet chicks will bore you to tears later.

The other thing is church. Start going. Most churches (synagogues too) have singles groups. Attend a meeting or two.

Finally, meet someone online. I know 4 happy couples who all met online. It lets you meet the person first, rather than the blonde with the big tits.

yellowfish

i met my wife in a pie shop
my mouth was burning form hot pie and i spat food over her when i tryed to say 'hello'
dunno why but she found it funny
and we went for coffie about a week later

(there is only 1 good pie shop in the small town i stayed in so i went back every day till i met her again giving me a chance to ask her out for coffie)