parallax5150

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When I began seeing my wife she was unbelieveable when it comes to sex. We did stuff in cars in front of the gym. Slipped off to anywhere possible at work. Basically everything that a guy could want.

Lately it seems that this spirit of adventure has worn off and things are basically just missionary sex period.

The porblem I have is I live to go down on women and spend long periods of time getting her off. Lately I cant even get her to let me do that.

Its frustrating and hard to talk about because she ducks the subject.

Now I will admit that I know because I have a mustashe and the occassional goatee, it can be rough but there were no issues before. I even suggested she guide me though it, help me move go where she wants. NO DEAL

Any suggestions or hints for help?

I hate to have this come off weird but I miss it for my pleasure and getting her off.

jShizz

You need to get her to pony up with whats bothering her, because obviously something is.

just4peep

Just a thought but maybe she is cheating on you.

skept

There are many factors which may be contributing to your lack of recieving loving and its pretty silly to straight away say that she is cheating on you.

Just talk to her mate in a civil manner.

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Remember, remember the 5th of November...

jeffc574

Ask her if the goatee hurts. Then ask if there is something she would like.

parallax5150

Thanks all for your ideas.

I am not sure how possibly being unfaithful could play into it but I am open to considering it if there is a way I can make the connection and recognize maybe more signs.

I guess there could be medical things in connection to it too from what I have researched. She is only 37 so I am not considering menopause or anything like that.

I guess in the end I could force the "discussion" but then I am afraid I am making too much out of it. But to me it is a big deal. So I guess I am still confused to a degree or 20.

Wilken

It was dismissive, but this isn't out of the question. Remember the old mantra:

If you're absolutely, positively, 100% sure that your girl is faithful, then there's a chance she's cheating on you. If you have ever had ANY shred of doubt, then she is DEFINITELY cheating on you.

Such is the way of the world.



J4P, repped back to green.

Juan.©amaney

You talking to *US* about it is the problem. Talk to her. Don't be too much of an asshole. Approach it like you care what might be wrong with YOU more than whats her fucking problem. Accept the fact that sometimes, sex slows down. If it doesn't pick up and she isn't willing to work on it, divorce. It's better than cheating. Least you don't lose half your shit if she isn't satisfying you sexually.

FYI: Sex in cars is cool once in a while, if you are a teenager. Time to spice shit up a bit a little at your house.

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yammy

communicate, communicate, communicate, communicate, communicate.

Consider these:

1) Many folks start off having sex using condoms and being a bit nuts, but then get on the Pill -- that's a MEGA sex-drive kill for some women. Not only that, it amps them up with frustration. Women don't function quite like guys when it comes to sex, and their natural horny hormones are set out of their normal routine with the Pill. I experienced that first hand.

2) do you guys have any kids? have you had any recently? Priorities are totally reshuffled.

3) are you remembering to romance her? Guys often forget all the shmooze they used to put in early on in relationships. Time has a way of dulling the old memory and the perceived required effort. Women usually still love the cat and mouse game, and still love romanticism vs. What often happens in marriage after a while: guy gets home, couple vent off day's work, eat, watch TV, get tired, go to bed and guy gets horny and wants some.

The same holds true for unmarried couples who've been partners for a long time. They think they've got a real relationship problem when in reality they have a lack of working on the relationship problem. Dynamics change as relationships mature.

The old rule of thumb IMO is for marriage to really work, it can't be 50/50 effort by both... it has to be 70/70.

But rewind it also back to the communicate, communicate, communicate. Ask her what's up. Don't be accusatory. Be receptive to her criticism, etc.

Finally, on the sex drive thing, woman can sometimes get really clammy on the subject -- they think something is wrong with them and it makes them terribly insecure. Work with her on it, because obviously its a problem.

Oh, and as for the comments about her doing someone else, don't jump to any conclusions. that's a quick way to wreck a marriage. Odds are she'd be doing more to cover her tracks by making sure she serviced you now and again. Granted, its always a possibility... but...