|
|
|
HEY YOU!!!,
Our records indicate that you have never posted to our site before! Why not make your first post today by saying hello to our community in our new people forums.
To access all the good good stuff you need to post, post, and post more.
|
12-19-2006, 01:56 PM
|
#1
|
|
whore
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: H-TOWN f00l
Posts: 118/0.14
Threads: 2
|
stop the relationship...help!
Hey guys, im in need of help
theres this girl who seems to be obsessed with me while I dont have any intimate feelings for her, she confessed how much she likes me in the form of a letter. Now I'm on christmas break for the semester for a few weeks, so when i go back things are gonna be pretty awkward
how do I tell her i dont like her without breaking her heart.truth?/lying? anything...... PS ill have to see her every day she has a few classes with me
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
quote
|
|
12-19-2006, 02:34 PM
|
#2
|
|
whore
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Pacific, NW
Posts: 202/0.26
Threads: 0
|
Re: stop the relationship...help!
Don't make it awkward. Be truthful in the nicest way possible. Tell her you're flattered and that she's a great girl, but not the one for you, etc. You don't need to overwhelm her with reasons, lies, or anything else. Nip it nicely and you can both get on with your lives. The obsession will likely stop when she finds that you aren't interested.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
quote
|
|
12-19-2006, 07:32 PM
|
#3
|
|
hells' troubleshooter
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: phobos west
Posts: 6,163/4.70
Threads: 34
Gold Member
|
Re: stop the relationship...help!
to me , this portion stuck out like a sore thumb : "how do I tell her i dont like her without breaking her heart.truth?/lying? " .
some clarification is needed on this ... not reciprocating intimate feelings is one thing , not truly liking someone is another . i hope this not a "freudian slip" .
however , i will go with the idea that she is just "not your cup of tea" . while honesty is the best policy (ya aint gotta remember to keep yer lies straight) , it does not have to be applied with a sledgehammer . there is a difference between "rigorous honesty" and "brutal frankness" .
i would gather that you already know that no matter what you say her heart is going to be broken (the letter she wrote must have spelled things out rather clearly) ... the gist here is to minimize the damage .
you might explain to her that you are flattered and honored by her feelings toward you ... that you care about her as a person/aquaintance/friend ... but , as a matter of honor and honesty you do not feel correct about entering into a relationship with her ... "i wish for you all those things i would want for myself" .
think about how you would want someone to tell you and how it would really make you feel ... kind of reverse the situation .
it is kind of tough to say more without more information .
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
quote
|
|
12-21-2006, 06:27 AM
|
#4
|
|
whore
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Greensboro, NC
Posts: 16/0.02
Threads: 0
|
Re: stop the relationship...help!
I have been there. I think you are very nice not to want to destroy her. However it's going to affect her regardless of the way you tell her. Controlling the damage is the goal I would think. I don't like lying as it always comes back to haunt you sooner or later. I think I would tell her what a great girl she is and she is deserving of a great guy but you not him and you are just not into her at the same level. If you are attracted to someone else I would tell her that also. Apologize to her and tell her that you hope she finds someone that is worthy of her.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
quote
|
|
|