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07-24-2006, 07:33 PM
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whore
 
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Deadbeat Dads
[if this topic has come up before I'm sorry, but I didn't see it. I looked.]
I recently heard about a men's group who are opposing having to pay child support for their kids (this is in the US). Their arguments weren't very good: they couldn't afford it, they shouldn't have to, they were manipulated into having the kids, etc. I really disagree with this. I think if a man gets a woman pregnant, regardless of circumstance, he should be somewhat responsible for the kid. Not so much in having to see the kid (forcing someone to be a father when they really don't want to be is more damaging than anything) but more in terms of financial support. After all, the mother (regardless of character) has the biggest job to do in raising the kid, so she should get some financial help. A man should never be able to escape responsibility. If you really don't want a kid, either make sure you are completely safe or just don't have sex. It really is that simple. I grew up never having met my biological father, and never getting any money or anything. I'm fine, but that is because my family was well off in terms of support and family. I just feel bad for the people who aren't so fortunate. Oh, and this is my first post. Don't ruin my self esteem, please. Last edited by Echolalia : 07-24-2006 at 08:09 PM. Reason: extra |
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07-25-2006, 02:50 PM
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#2 |
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whore
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Re: Deadbeat Dads
well spoken, I tend to agree and don't forget that there are also dead beat mothers who don't pay Dad's for help and such also. I raised three kids for many years on my own because the ex (mother) had an addiction more powerfull than her love for her family. Suck no matter who it is, the kids usually get shafted and a parent gets off scott free.
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07-26-2006, 05:11 PM
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how long can I hold out
 
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Re: Deadbeat Dads
I am not sure if you are talking about the issue of dead beat dads or redoing child support laws in the place of what we have now. Dead beat dads there really is no arguement, but some fathers paying into child support have issues with the system always siding with the mother, and in some cases the financial burden put on a Father with no visitation rights, or too large of his income going to child support, or mothers living off of what the father pays.
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07-26-2006, 05:36 PM
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WR's resident Emo Hater
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: The Land of the Golden Beer.
Posts: 5,177/3.77
Threads: 175
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Re: Deadbeat Dads
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 There's a difference between someone who refuses to help out, and someone who is forced to contribute far more than their' fair share. |
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07-26-2006, 08:43 PM
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whore
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Re: Deadbeat Dads
both good points. I think we are talking about whether there is any responsibility both financial and moral and where does one draw the line. My best man was divorced and his ex got both child support and alimony, a set percentage of is income. Overe the last few years as his income has gone up with success, her portion is about 130,000 per year. She complains that it isn't enough even though she lives with another guy and has little to no bills. I believe this is ridiculous, particularly because she was the reason he wasn't able to excel and was constantly holding him back. FIGURE THAT OUT.....
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07-28-2006, 09:47 AM
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whore
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Re: Deadbeat Dads
Its not that dads are dead beats but the courts turn them into dead beats. Between alimony and child support the dads always get the short end of the stick. I say do away with alimony period-its called get a job. Child support should be paid equally by both parrents into an account that can only be used for the child, maybe that would do away with the outrageous child support payments. Custody should always be joint and visitation equal.
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07-28-2006, 04:07 PM
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whore
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Re: Deadbeat Dads
I got laid off 18 months after the the divorce. I have (3) kids with my ex and have joint custodial & physical custody, I was making close to $100,000 and had no problem paying the $3000.00 per month in support. Even after I was laid off I continued to pay the full amount instead of filing to have it modified because I still had money saved and a good sized 401K plan there if I needed it as well. I felt that this would be in the kids best interest. After almost another year I have started my own business and have a new relationship now. I am not making the money I use to make being self-employed but I enjoy the time it gives me to persue other things. Money started to get a little tight so I told my ex that I was going to have to lower the amount of support I was paying. I told her I thought we could come up with an amount instead of going to court & paying attornies and fees. She agreed to the amount & I have stuck to the agreement until recently. I was served papers that she wanted to move with our kids to Tennessee in October. My ex & our kids have been living with her Mother a few miles from me for the last 3 yrs. and she has not bothered to try to get her own place. Also UI failed to mention that she has also been employed for 2 the last 2yrs which also was grounds to modify support. Now her Mom is moving to TN and wants to take my kids with her because she claims she can't afford here in S. Calif. I want to know who's the date beat her because thus far, it looks like my kids will not have my influence as a father come October. Any comments or Suggestions??? Thanks for reading.
Brad |
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07-29-2006, 01:45 AM
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whore
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Re: Deadbeat Dads
I'm talking about fathers who refuse to pay anything and refuse to have any involvement with their children. Obviously, a lot of guys do get screwed over by the system (and some women) so they pay too much money and/or are forced into dealing with kids they don't want. I'm against that. I just get pissed at guys who don't want to help out (at all) with their own biological children, and their only justification being that they never wanted the kid in the first place (the most bullshit reason I could think of for refusing to help out with a kid).
Brad (jeribjd) I don't think you are a deadbeat dad at all, since you were paying for your kids and wanted to help them. It just looks like the system happened to have worked against you, which seems to happen too much these days. I guess by definition that I am using here of a deadbeat parent (I only mentioned fathers because I assume that they are the majority of deadbeat parents) is a parent who refuses to aid their child. I know that isn't the technical definition exactly, but that is what I was referring to here. |
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07-29-2006, 02:42 AM
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#10 | |
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WR's resident Emo Hater
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: The Land of the Golden Beer.
Posts: 5,177/3.77
Threads: 175
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Re: Deadbeat Dads
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The reason you (likely correctly) assumed that the majority of deadbeat parents are fathers is because the kids almost always get sent with the mother. A woman has to f-up pretty bad before they will award custody to the father. I would assume the group that is proposing this (to get back on topic) is looking to eliminate the cases of the "system" screwing over a well intentioned guy, not looking to aid someone in their efforts to shirk their' responsibility. |
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07-29-2006, 10:57 AM
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Groin Grabbingly Good
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: North Mexico . . . Penis Size: Python
Posts: 17,619/8.09
Threads: 512
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Re: Deadbeat Dads
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A woman legally has the right in the US to get rid of a child regardless of what the father says. Abortion is always the womans choice, but not the mans. If a man has no say so whether the child is brought into this world, why should he be forced to pay for something he didn't want? Why are the womans rights protected but not the mans? I've had friends of mine who's pay checks started to get money taken out of them and they didn't even know who the fuck the woman was. It's sooooo easy for a woman to say, he's the daddy, get the dude in trouble, then 18 years later, the kid isn't even theirs. If you ask me, it's the WOMANS responsibility to make sure she doesn't get preagnant because it is her who will ultimately have to make the decision whether or not to keep it and put her body through all the stress of child bearing. I see "protection" like gun protection. If you know you are in danger of being shot, by your own choice, might as well wear a vest instead of having to trust that someone will load their M-16 with a blank shell. |
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07-29-2006, 05:35 PM
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Psychic MOD
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Re: Deadbeat Dads
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Wow... interesting point that I haven't thought of before.... That almost puts it in a different perspective now. |
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07-29-2006, 07:24 PM
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Not quite Mr. October
 
Champion!
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: It is high! It is far! It....is GONE!
Posts: 1,273/1.35
Threads: 69
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Re: Deadbeat Dads
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I'm sure you've heard Kanye's Gold Digger.... Anyway, I've known deadbeat dads who were deadbeats of their own accord, and others who became so jaded that they just gave up. The second group, unfortunately were those guys who actually were more than willing to do their part with the kid, but the mother got so pissed at them (or the breakup) that they simply filed for support without ever offering or communicating with the dad about the kid. That makes a deadbeat mom, not to mention a world full of kids who announce at age 18: "Yeah, my dad was some a**hole who ran off when my mom get pregnant with me." Even if that wasn't really the case. |
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07-31-2006, 08:34 PM
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#15 |
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whore
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Re: Deadbeat Dads
RESPONSIBILITY Now theres a word that nearly the whole worlds population doesn't have any clue what it means!!Let me tell you about my cousin and his soon to be ex.My Cuzz came to work for me 3 years ago which was a year or 2 after the split up started. He was atroubled alcoholic at the time, and she was the innocent abused wife SO it seemed to everyone??She always told everyone that she was helping "CUZZ" get over his drinking so they could back together.As alife counciller I paid close attention to them. after a year or so her actions werent panning out,I smelled a fish. his drinking problem was the wierdest thing I ever seen.He only drank on those occasions when he went to meet her at her condo for supper or to just hang out. The next day he would be the bad guy and she acted like the innocent "ho". I finally told him that something just is'nt right.So CUZZ and I decided to check up on her.HIs name was on the lease ,so he went to the maintainence man to get a key to her"Legally Theirs" condo.We "legally"planted audio and visual recording devices in the condo.At the same time "he" searched the condo.He found almost 10.000 dollars loosely laid around the condo. Some of the money was in bags with porno and dildos.Remember she played the pitiful abused broke spouse,and the real kicker is that their yearly combined income at the time was around 19.000 or less .A month later after compiling his data he had found that she was a prostitute!!He took her to divorce court,they didn't care that she was a practicing hoe or that there was apolice report of her beating the child down,or that she hasn't paid for any of the childs care for the past 9months.The court wants them to work it out them selves.The kid hates his mother,because she takes him to clients homes and makes him sit in the other room while she prostitutes. They go to court for a finale decision here soon ,the attorneys both say that the judge will decide 50/50 on custody.After the court date I've told CUZZ of ways to make her life rough. CUZZ drives a race car for my team called a-team racing.Recently I've been checking up on other benefactors of child support ,and 9 out of 10 arent doing whats "Responsible". In 2007 I will appropriate large sums to correct this civil disfunction.This effort is going to have a major negative effect on the cons of child support fraud implamented by the courts of O?io
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