So I met a girl who is from out of town but shes coming to visit for 10 days next week and we have hooked up in the past, and we've talked about all of our sexual experiences and preferences, and a few days ago she told me that shes never orgasmed and it kind of frustrates her and she hopes that that will change soon...hinting about when shes up here, now I've had other girlfriends that do orgasm when we have sex or I go down on them, but now I feel over my head here. Is there any good way to go about this? I'm planning on just having a good time and not focusing on it too much, but now I'm worried thats all shes going to be thinking about...am I over reacting? We're both 24 if that matters, thanks for any advice, I've never come across this before
Holy shit, I swear I highlighted and copied the same thing Anibal just did and was going to answer the same.
Some women just can't. Deal with it. Some women take forever, and they themselves don't know why. Some women start thinking a billion things during sex and get side tracked. Its not like they don't enjoy it, they just can't shut their brains off. It has nothing to do with you. Its their BS to deal with. You can either try and read her and do more that she enjoys, but it can quickly turn sex into a chore, so be careful.
Actually, it's my opinion that every woman can have an orgasm. There are just some who haven't figured out how yet.
I've been with women who would collapse in the throes of multiple orgasms if you so much as looked at their clit and others who damn near needed an act of god in order to get off.
The overwhelming majority of women lie somewhere in the middle.
Now, excluding any physical or psychological problems, odds are she just hasn't figured out what gets her kitty purring. In all honesty, you probably won't get her off the first time. Probably not the second time either.
What you need to do is try as many different things as you can and pay strict attention to the signals she gives you and figure out what works for HER. Don't assume that what got the last several girls off will work on her. Women are infinitely diverse in their paths to climax. So try it all. Manual, oral, hard, fast, slow, soft, internal, external. Everything.
And here's the most important part:
Get her to RELAX.
Women can get performance anxiety too, so make her feel as un-pressured as possible. If her orgasm suddenly becomes this holy quest, she's more likely to feel like something is wrong with her and/or become too self-conscious to be able to cum.
Anyways, whats about all I can think of. GOOD LUCK!
A woman's orgasm is as much (if not more) emotional than it is physical - you can go down on her like a champ, hit all the e-zones she has, and she may STILL not orgasm. She has to be emotionally ready to go and keyed in - and yes, wanting it too much can be an emotional block. Encourage HER to relax and enjoy herself - give her control - what does she like, what doesn't she - faster, slower, have her move your hands to where she wants them. She directs the pace, she's comfortable, she has a better chance at it - and it makes you into the sensitive, concerned, open, caring guy.
Ok, heres my story. I was dating this chick who had never orgasmed before. She was extremely beautiful but she had several defenses up around her. We hung out and went on dates and had fun. We would play around but she would never let me go all the way with her. I remember she would be so super wet so I know she was ready but she wouldnt go through with it. A few days later and playing around a bit more and more and going out on dates and dinners and everything else, we finally did it. Now granted we did it in the front seat of my truck but afterwards she told me she had never orgasmed before until that night. Yeah, I felt good hearing that but I realized two things that night. One was that I needed to get to her mind and emotionally seduce her and get her comfortable with me and two, I needed to have my seat cleaned because she got everything everywhere wet.