Why did you break up?

[mar480]

Hi everyone,

I've never posted a question of my own in here... I prefer to sit back and offer people my advice. But lately I've been thinking about a question and I'd be interested to have the fine people and Webrats send me their opinions:

Why do people break up?

I'm looking essentially at younger couples between the ages of about 18-25, in relatively serious relationships but all comments are appreciated.

A little back story if you're interested. Most of my friends are girls and most of them have been in long term relationships (3 years or so) with great guys. Over the last month, four of the girls broke up with four of the guys. Their reason? They met someone else. No remorse, no shame and no responsibility. Now I love them to bits, they're my friends, but I can't understand that mentality at all. Is it unique to the kind of people I associate with? Or has it happened to you or someone you know? Have you broken up with someone for that reason or do you have any other horror stories? Have we reached a point where a generation of people are so flippant about the concept of relationships that this reason is totally acceptable.

I'm really looking forward to hearing your comments!

Rx

[Bigeme]

My ex broke up with me because two very close friends of mine were denigrating me behind my back. It's a long story. I made a thread in here where basically I bitch and moan and cry and everything in between. The degree and severity of betrayal did not become apparent to me until well after I stopped posting in that thread.

I agree with you though. If I am in a relationship I stop looking. If the relationship isn't right than it will end on its own for other reasons. Because someone "better" comes along is not an excuse for ending a relationship. Although I definitely feel in a minority on that issue.

[travcook]

I broke up with a gf once because she didn't get along with ANYONE who I was friends with that we didn't meet together. I was blind to it for awhile, but then it just got f'ing ridiculous. (She actually bit a friend of mine, she claimed it was accidental, he said it was on purpose)

I agree though that for me, always looking for something better means that you are not committed to a relationship. Don't get me wrong, I definitely appreciate a nice piece, but I'm not really thinking, "wow, this is my chance to upgrade."

[Nifty]

Well my first marriage broke up (when I was 21, now almost 28). We had been living a little apart from each other after moving. I was working trying to get a living situation better for us so we could get an apartment again. I went to go see her, and without any warning she just said, I think we should just separate. This was a whooping 13 months into the marriage.

She never said, and I never got a straight answer out of her, but I think she realized how young we were, and she had interest in someone else. Later I found out from one our mutual friends that starting about a month after we separated, she started fucking other guys, and within 3 months she had fucked 20, yes 20 different guys. That was fucking shocking. I couldn't be happier now. She was dead weight anyway, but I think your friends dropping their boyfriends for other guys is pretty typical.

[Juan.Camaney]

Originally Posted by mar480

Why did you break up?

Originally Posted by mar480

I'm looking essentially at younger couples between the ages of about 18-25, in relatively serious relationships but all comments are appreciated.

Your very question is faulty. People younger than 25 should not be in real relationships. The women don't know what they want, and the men typically havent matured enough to be in a real relationship.

[Bigeme]

Your very question is faulty. People younger than 25 should not be in real relationships. The women don't know what they want, and the men typically havent matured enough to be in a real relationship.

I agree, but I also disagree. I personally don't like the idea of fucking around. I think the only way to know what you want is to try it out and that means a real commitment. I definitely feel in a minority that I have what it takes to be in a serious relationship. And you are right, that's partly why my relationship ended. Women don't know what they want. Men haven't matured enough. It just sucks a lot when your friends are creating the doubt in what she wants because they are too immature to understand what a relationship takes.

I'm 22 by the way.

[Green Eyes]

Originally Posted by Juan.©amaney

Your very question is faulty. People younger than 25 should not be in real relationships. The women don't know what they want, and the men typically havent matured enough to be in a real relationship.

Point, set, match.

When these things combine with the a lack of accurate communication, there are obviously going to be problems. This is the quintessential reason that couples break up: immaturity and lack of accurate communication.

[Juan.Camaney]

Originally Posted by Bigeme

I agree, but I also disagree. I personally don't like the idea of fucking around. I think the only way to know what you want is to try it out and that means a real commitment. I definitely feel in a minority that I have what it takes to be in a serious relationship. And you are right, that's partly why my relationship ended. Women don't know what they want. Men haven't matured enough. It just sucks a lot when your friends are creating the doubt in what she wants because they are too immature to understand what a relationship takes.

I'm 22 by the way.

Brother, we ALL feel the same way at that age. We all feel we will make it because love conquers all and no one has ever felt the way we feel when we are in love at that age....trust me, it wears off...wait, you've been through it.

Truth is, now a days, no one is really ready to settle down at that age. You have no retirement plan set up, you don't have a steady job, your dick still rules over your mind, and women want security which very few men under 25 can provide.

[koniec]

Originally Posted by Juan.©amaney

Truth is, now a days, no one is really ready to settle down at that age. You have no retirement plan set up, you don't have a steady job, your dick still rules over your mind, and women want security which very few men under 25 can provide.

werd

[rustyb]

Women want committment and dick. If you can't supply one of those things at all times, they will break up with you. I've been with my wife for 9 years, starting at age 20 (take that Juan). I have always given her both. The commitment is definitely the hardest part when you are younger, due to all the opportunities trade up.

For the guys, if they are not talking to they're lady about serious commitment after 2-3 years, they will ditch your ass, no matter how much dick you give them. You cannot subsitute the lack of commitment with more dick and vice versa. You gotta give em both.

[BackdoorJesus]

read & learn.

http://www.nomarriage.com

Juan has the right idea. If you are under 30 and are in, or are considering being in, a long-term relationship, and you think you're going to be happy with that for the rest of your days, well, good luck with that.

[Juan.Camaney]

Originally Posted by rustyb

Women want committment and dick.

Really? What about all those chicks that quit sucking dick after they're married? Don't believe me, read a few posts around here.

Originally Posted by rustyb

I've been with my wife for 9 years, starting at age 20 (take that Juan).

Tupac also took 9 gun shot wounds and survived but I still wouldn't recomend people take a bunch of bullets. There ae exceptions to the rule.

Originally Posted by rustyb

For the guys, if they are not talking to they're lady about serious commitment after 2-3 years, they will ditch your ass, no matter how much dick you give them. You cannot subsitute the lack of commitment with more dick and vice versa. You gotta give em both.

Not all women want marriage. Trust me on that.

Ask Jackie-O, JShizz, et al.

[jShizz]

Originally Posted by rustyb

Women want committment and dick. If you can't supply one of those things at all times, they will break up with you. I've been with my wife for 9 years, starting at age 20 (take that Juan). I have always given her both. The commitment is definitely the hardest part when you are younger, due to all the opportunities trade up.

For the guys, if they are not talking to they're lady about serious commitment after 2-3 years, they will ditch your ass, no matter how much dick you give them. You cannot subsitute the lack of commitment with more dick and vice versa. You gotta give em both.

Congrats on your 9 years, but it's not over yet. Overconfidence in a relationship is bad news.

I think this excerpt from BDJ's wonderful website he posted sums it up why most women can't handle a relationship

Immaturity, undeveloped self-esteem, constant contradictions, emotional response and/or overreaction to the SIMPLEST misstatement or problem, an inability to handle adversity, constant self-absorbment, a total failure of inductive reasoning, deductive reasoning or simple pattern recognition, short attention span, superficiality, an extreme need for dependence while loudly declaring independence, etc...

[jShizz]

Originally Posted by Juan.©amaney

Not all women want marriage. Trust me on that.

Ask Jackie-O, JShizz, et al.

We do want dick though....

[uacmarine]

thats a great site BDJ! for a few months i fought w/ juan's advice within my own thoughts, but eventually, it all started making perfect sense...thanks juan!