Female orgasm shyness?

[OpIvy]

So, I have been seeing a girl for a while and to make an extremely long story short, we have both decided that we don't want to have sex. So my questions pertains solely to giving her head.

I absolutely love going down on her and she seems to enjoy it quite a bit as well. However, every time I feel like she is coming close to orgasming, she pushes my head away and tells me that I can stop and that it's okay I don't have to do it anymore (she sometimes tries to get me to admit that I don't like going down on her, which is totally not the case. I don't think it has much to do with how I perform, but most likely because she doesn't see how I could like it). If I try to go back she tells me to stop and that I don't have to going at which point I try to convince her that I would really love to keep going, but she doesn't buy it. I have asked her before if I have ever given her an orgasm, to which she answers, she doesn't think so and that one she thinks I came close to, but she stopped me. (I'm her first intimate partner and she apparently has never masturbated before or since we got together). I would really love to give her an orgasm, but I need some advice on how to ease her into it more or convince her to let me keep going when I think she is close. I think I have a good technique, as she has mentioned that I have learned some things since I started going down on her, (she is my first as well). She has also mentioned that one of the reasons she wants me stop is because she is afraid of what will happen if she comes.


Btw: This is my first post in the forum for a while and I appreciate any responses

Thanks!

[carstunts]

Tell her that the feeling will be intense and she'll will absolutely love it. She will be coming back for more. She has nothing to worry about, unless you aren't wearing protection... So be the man and be in control. Tell her you will make her feel good and you love doing it. That's what love making is about... for the both of you - making your partner feel good.

[fmb]

I'd approach this differently than carstunts. I think she may be very apprehensive about having an orgasm with you. If so, I have a suggestion. Use more than your tongue. Try using your fingers, your tongue, and fingers and tongue at the same time. Try this over a period of time. Build her up until she achieves orgasm.

Don't bring her to this point quickly; let her enjoy the journey. Subtlety is the key. Over time, I think you'll have her enjoying this so much, she'll get used to being very excited, to the feelings she's experiencing, and will let down her barriers to achieving her orgasm.

Let us know how your attempts (at whichever track you choose) work out.

[Greven359]

I had a similar experience with a girl I used to see, like she was scared of her climax. What I used to do was get her close orally, then finish her off with my fingers while whispering comments (its okay, just relax, ect) into her ear.

[BackdoorJesus]

Come on...you guys didn't both decide not to have sex - she decided and you agreed. sucker.

two choices for you: kick her to the curb and find a girl unafraid of enjoying sex with you, or tell this girl that if she doesn't use it it will close up on her and hope she buys it.

You are too young to spend your time waiting around for her to come around (no pun intended) so live your life and move on to the next one.

[Juan.Camaney]

lol im with bdj no sane man agrees to no sex uless he is dating an underaged girl or the girl has a vd.

So...you go down on her and she gets agravated that she doesnt come and then she tells you to stop to which you respong no wait lemme get you more aggravated. you had her close to one once but then she pushed you away....hate to tell you but it might be your technique.

The only thing you should be doing is either talking to her about it and really getting her to tell you the truth or the one I would choose is leave her for another girl. Part of beign in a relationship is having relations. Part of having relations is having a girl secure enough to be able to talk about shit like this....and a decent partner.

This forum won't tell you much, sorry.

[abcde123]

You guys have decided not to have sex. The climax of sex is the orgasm. Maybe she has a hangup about orgasms because she mentally equates them to sex even if the stimulation is oral. I don't understand why the lines get drawn where they do with some girls, but reacting to your pressure to go ahead and orgasm by trying to convince you that you don't really want to do it sounds like typical behavior for someone who doesn't want to be confrontational by just saying no. I hear that technique used all the time in everday conversation...."Don't you think we should do it this way....." (No...I don't...If I did then I would already be doing it that way...if you don't like it then tell me and don't play this stupid game!!!!)

or

maybe she is a squirter. Maybe she has had an orgasm and is really embarrassed about squirting. This route make perfect sense too. If that's the reason...then I guess you are one lucky dude and I'd stick around!

[cestmoi2010]

Here is my take

A huge complaint from women is how they look once they have an orgasm. Some/Many women don't like the way their face looks and reacts when they are cumming -f eeling it doesn't make them look as hot and sexy as when they don't. I, and most guys, feel just the opposite that seeing a woman's face react to the feeling of an orgasm ripping thru their body is one of the sexiest ways a woman looks - to see her quiver and eyes rolling into the back of her head is truly a beautiful sight to see. If she won't let you have sex with her this might be one reason

Here is something I would try. As long as the 2 of you have been together I sense you love her and vice versa and have told each other that. If so - I would say this (while looking dead in her eyes so she knows how much you mean it):

"Honey, I love you more than words or actions can possibly express. I truly love Oral sex with you. You have the most beautiful pussy I have ever seen (Whether it's true or not - who cares - tell her this). I love everything about it but the one thing I don't love is that you won't let me give you an Orgasm. Youa lways make me pull away just as you are ready to Cum. Next time can you please let me finish you off so I can see the beauty of your Orgasm. I would truly love to do this so next time please don't force me away - let me eat you out until you cum. OK?"

Try something like this and it might work

[Anibal]

Originally Posted by cestmoi2010

Here is my take

A huge complaint from women is how they look once they have an orgasm. Some/Many women don't like the way their face looks and reacts when they are cumming -f eeling it doesn't make them look as hot and sexy as when they don't. I, and most guys, feel just the opposite that seeing a woman's face react to the feeling of an orgasm ripping thru their body is one of the sexiest ways a woman looks - to see her quiver and eyes rolling into the back of her head is truly a beautiful sight to see. If she won't let you have sex with her this might be one reason

Here is something I would try. As long as the 2 of you have been together I sense you love her and vice versa and have told each other that. If so - I would say this (while looking dead in her eyes so she knows how much you mean it):

"Honey, I love you more than words or actions can possibly express. I truly love Oral sex with you. You have the most beautiful pussy I have ever seen (Whether it's true or not - who cares - tell her this). I love everything about it but the one thing I don't love is that you won't let me give you an Orgasm. Youa lways make me pull away just as you are ready to Cum. Next time can you please let me finish you off so I can see the beauty of your Orgasm. I would truly love to do this so next time please don't force me away - let me eat you out until you cum. OK?"

Try something like this and it might work

Yes. That will do it, those exact words.

Other than the fact that there is like 0.00000000000001 chance of that actually working, i posted this because reading that reply made me laugh. In a good way, not a bad way.

I agree with how you start your post but that last line just killed me

I dont think that a girl who is shy and insecure about this whole thing will feel better after hearing those words. Any other night, id go for that. Id even walk up to a random girl on a bar and quote that whole paragraph, and i think in that scenario it has more chance of being succesfull than on this one.

Im sorry im comepletely baked right now

[cestmoi2010]

OK - I can somewhat agree but you do have to express that desire/thought - phrase it better thhough but make that point known.

[OpIvy]

Originally Posted by Juan.Camaney

lol im with bdj no sane man agrees to no sex uless he is dating an underaged girl or the girl has a vd.

So...you go down on her and she gets agravated that she doesnt come and then she tells you to stop to which you respong no wait lemme get you more aggravated. you had her close to one once but then she pushed you away....hate to tell you but it might be your technique.

The only thing you should be doing is either talking to her about it and really getting her to tell you the truth or the one I would choose is leave her for another girl. Part of beign in a relationship is having relations. Part of having relations is having a girl secure enough to be able to talk about shit like this....and a decent partner.

This forum won't tell you much, sorry.

Listen. I'm not some horny high school kid. Of course the idea of sex with her is appealing to me and she knows this as we have discussed our sexuality plenty of times before (except this one point that I come to you for). She is not underage and neither of us has a venereal disease. However, the consequences of having sex with her are such that my desire to do so is overshadowed by them (and they have little to do with her personal views on sex as she is open to quite a few other things. I do not plan on going into detail on the consequences as it is a long story, like I mentioned in the op) because they could bring about problems for her that I could not bare to leave her with, yet we get along too well for me to end our relationship based on this fact.

Call me what you will, but sometimes it isn't as black and white as you may think.


I appreciate all the other advice and have some ideas.