Sex Etiquette

[20YearOldVirgin]

I'm a virgin so I have never done anything like this before and I don't know how it works.

But let's say you are flirting with this random girl who you've never talked to before and she gets all worked up and you and her decide to go to some place more secluded (like a restroom on campus or the janitor's closet, etc). My question is, how do you decide where to shoot your... load... when you are all done?

Do you just flat out ask her before you guys begin where she wants you to come? That would seem like an embaressing question to ask and would kill the mood, wouldn't it?

Or do you just assume she wants it on her face like in a porn movie? But that doesn't seem like the right choice either, lots of girls don't like that.



I mean if you were having sex with your girlfriend or wife it would be totally different because you would know her well and know where she wants it, so you wouldn't have to ask her. But we are talking like a random stranger here you have just met and hit off with really well.

[Juan.Camaney]

number bug

20 years old....you better be strapping rubbers on and shooting in there, partner.

[20YearOldVirgin]

number bug

20 years old....you better be strapping rubbers on and shooting in there, partner.

What?

And yes I know it's embaressing I'm still a virgin, I'm only slightly overweight (maybe like 20 lbs overweight at most? I'm 5'6" and 175lbs and according to BMI I should be around 155-160) so weight isn't really a problem, and I'm decently good looking. I think my problem is I just don't know how to talk to women, the only girl I ever asked out was a classmate of mine 3 weeks ago and she said "sure" when I asked her if she ever wanted to hang out some time but I forgot to get her number (just assumed I would talk to her more about it the next class) BUT she dropped out of the class, or at least has been absent for the past 3 weeks, lol. :sad2: Maybe she just thought I was kind of creepy and didn't want to face me again so that's why she's been absent, lol. It was kind of creepy how I did ask her out, I nervously stood behind her for maybe 20 seconds before I went up to her and asked her. It's too bad because I think she kind of liked me she was always very nice to me and smiled at me a lot.


I need coaching on how to pick up women, lol :mstad: I mean good women for a relationship, I'm not into clubbing and I'm too young for bars yet, so just random women for sex is not in my best interest.

[CD]

Condom and inside was the correct answer. Thanks Juan.

As for the rest of your post, if you think you possibly freaked her out enough for her to drop a class, you have serious issues. College kids drop classes all the time in a semester, and it's rare that a girl drops one just because a guy asked her out. Oh, and going forward, may I STRONGLY SUGGEST that you get her number when you ask her out, and not hope to get it later on.

[Juan.Camaney]

What?
It's a forum bug we can't figure out. Start a reply with a number and the only thing that shows is the number.

And yes I know it's embaressing I'm still a virgin, I'm only slightly overweight (maybe like 20 lbs overweight at most? I'm 5'6" and 175lbs and according to BMI I should be around 155-160) so weight isn't really a problem, and I'm decently good looking. I think my problem is I just don't know how to talk to women, the only girl I ever asked out was a classmate of mine 3 weeks ago and she said "sure" when I asked her if she ever wanted to hang out some time but I forgot to get her number (just assumed I would talk to her more about it the next class) BUT she dropped out of the class, or at least has been absent for the past 3 weeks, lol. :sad2: Maybe she just thought I was kind of creepy and didn't want to face me again so that's why she's been absent, lol. It was kind of creepy how I did ask her out, I nervously stood behind her for maybe 20 seconds before I went up to her and asked her. It's too bad because I think she kind of liked me she was always very nice to me and smiled at me a lot.
It will happen sooner or later. Instead of focusing on all that, relax, make friends and eventually shit will happen. Dude, weight and looks have nothing to do with it.

I need coaching on how to pick up women, lol :mstad: I mean good women for a relationship...
Shut your fool mouth. You are 20, you have no reason being in a relationship.

...just random women for sex is not in my best interest.
Oh contraire my pudgy friend, this is indeed in your best interest.

[20YearOldVirgin]

Shut your fool mouth. You are 20, you have no reason being in a relationship.


Oh contraire my pudgy friend, this is indeed in your best interest.

train me.


once you find a girl who seems kind of slutty how do you let her know you wanna do her? obviously can't just tell her you want to have sex with her lol, that would be wayyyy too forward. i flirt with girls all the time but they never have sex with me so i dont know what im doing wrong

[Juan.Camaney]

train me.
Can't. Its a skill acquired through practice.

once you find a girl who seems kind of slutty how do you let her know you wanna do her? obviously can't just tell her you want to have sex with her lol, that would be wayyyy too forward. i flirt with girls all the time but they never have sex with me so i dont know what im doing wrong

If she is slutty, hang out with her where she sluts it up. I get laid more just by being around sluts more than going out looking for ass.

What you are doing wrong is you are thinking too fucking much about it.

Also, if you aren't forward enough....they kinda might start thinking you are teh gey

[fmb]

Listen up and take some notes from the guys and gals here. Juan and CD have you on the right track!

* Don't worry about it; let what happens, happen.

* Some lady wants to do it with you, you do it. Practice makes perfect. Practice is fun.

* Because a woman wants to have sex with you doesn't mean she's a slut. You can do better than a slut anyway, right? She wants to have sex with you because she wants to have sex with you. Enough said.

* Go where the women are. Hang out, talk, and make yourself known. (However, not known as the guy that hasn't had any women. You know what I mean.)


* Don't worry about a relationship. You're not looking for a relationship. You're looking for sex. It's different. Besides, you're in college. You're around way to many women that want to have sex. Relationships are for down the road (unless you run into a really great woman. I mean a really great woman...)

* Always have condoms. Always. Keep 'em in your pocket, your backpack,...... everywhere. Safe sex is the best sex. Remember, you're not in a relationship...

* Have fun.

[20YearOldVirgin]

Listen up and take some notes from the guys and gals here. Juan and CD have you on the right track!

* Don't worry about it; let what happens, happen.

* Some lady wants to do it with you, you do it. Practice makes perfect. Practice is fun.

* Because a woman wants to have sex with you doesn't mean she's a slut. You can do better than a slut anyway, right? She wants to have sex with you because she wants to have sex with you. Enough said.

* Go where the women are. Hang out, talk, and make yourself known. (However, not known as the guy that hasn't had any women. You know what I mean.)


* Don't worry about a relationship. You're not looking for a relationship. You're looking for sex. It's different. Besides, you're in college. You're around way to many women that want to have sex. Relationships are for down the road (unless you run into a really great woman. I mean a really great woman...)


That's the problem, I have been sitting around waiting for something to happen for a long time but I'm starting to lose hope, I mean come on I've been a horny teenager for 5 years now and still nothing. Women don't come up to me and talk to me, I mean really like NEVER. I don't know what it is. The only thing wrong with me is I'm a little short. That's it. I'm not fat and I'm not ugly, I dress well and I smile. I always shower before I go out anywhere, my teeth are perfectly straight and white, and I'm well groomed (well except not at the moment cause I'm growing a beard, lol). I don't understand it at all. Maybe it's because my skin is pale? I'm pretty white, but not as white as a ghost or anything. A coworker told me I should get a tan, but I don't think that's going to be a magic ticket to make women start talking to me instead of avoiding me.

I must be doing something wrong, that's means I have to start doing something right. What do I need to do, that is the million dollar question.

And recently I did meet a girl who WAS really worth it (me and her had a LOT in common and she was wonderful) but I think I touched on this one earlier, I haven't seen her in 3 weeks and I only have 1 more class left and she might not be there and I have no other way of contacting her so that didn't work so well. But damn usually I don't talk to women at all but I was so in love with this girl ( I mean actually in love, there's plenty of women I just want to have sex with but this girl was like the perfect match for me) that I actually asked her out which was the first time I've ever asked a girl out. I couldn't let her slip away so I did something I never did before and faced my fears and asked her out (well not on a date, to "hang out" but I think she understood what I was trying to get at.)

[fmb]

You are not in love with her; you've only known her for a short while. Infatuated, maybe; in love, not a cold chance in hell. When you get some ass you'll know what I mean.

If you're expecting the women to approach you and beg you to have sex with them, don't hold your breath. You're at a college. The women are whistled at, winked at, and blown kisses all day. They can have any dick they want. Why would they come to you and beg for yours? It's up to you to make things happen!

You go talk to them.
You say hello when you pass them.
You ask for a phone number if you remotely think she's interested in talking some more.
You call the women within the next day or two.

It's all up to you. Don't be afraid to get out of your comfort zone. Your comfort zone is what's keeping you from getting mo' ass than a donkey salesman. It's up to you to create your new comfort zone: the man gettin' some sex.

The donkey salesman has a barn. What are you building to hold your asses??

[20YearOldVirgin]

You go talk to them.
You say hello when you pass them.
You ask for a phone number if you remotely think she's interested in talking some more.
You call the women within the next day or two.



That's the problem I just don't get how that works.

If I'm walking down the hallway and see a random girl whom I find attractive walking on the other side of the hallway going the opposite way coming near me, what do I do, just say hello? What is that going to accomplish? If she's friendly she'll say hello back, but that's it. It's not going to get me a conversation, it's not going to get me a number, and certainly not going to get me laid. Would she seriously just stop walking dead in her tracks, and then start up a conversation just because I said hello? No I don't think so. Of course I've never tried it, but common sense tells me she wouldn't.


And if I even got lucky and found a girl who wasn't walking, and was stationary doing something, I'm supposed to go up to them and start talking to them even know I don't know them and have never seen them before? Wouldn't they find that creepy? What would I say?


I've been practicing on cute girls at the supermarket ringing my stuff up, trying to start conversations with them since it's easy to start conversations with them. But none of my conversations with them lead anywhere, it always ends with "have a nice day" and that's it.

I'll tell you what I've tried so far.

Two days ago I put a cookie in my coat pocket (earlier while shopping) and as the girl was ringing my stuff up I said "oops I almost forgot this!" and whipped the cookie out and threw it down on the counter. I at least got her to say something to me and smile, she said "careful I'll have to call the police on thiefs!" in a joking manner while smiling. I smiled back but that's all that happened she just said "have a nice day" 2 seconds later then moved on to the next customer.

Yesterday I went into the supermarket at 9:30pm when it was fairly empty and while the weather was terrible. I bought a comb. Yes, a comb. I have really short buzzed hair, so I obviously don't even need a comb. My goal was to get the cute female cashier to laugh and think I was silly for going all the way to the supermarket to buy a comb when I didn't even need it, and maybe start a conversation from there. Well, this girl smiled but that was it, no conversation really ensued. She asked me if I wanted the comb in a bag or a sticker on it, I asked her while smiling "what do YOU suggest?" and she said "the sticker" while smilling, but that was it. She gave me my change and said "have a good night." and that was it.

I don't understand what I'm doing wrong.

I have gotten to the stage where I CAN actually start talking to girls now and feel comfortable doing it but the conversations never lead anywhere. I don't see what I'm doing wrong.

[Juan.Camaney]

^^^ see all that. STFU and just go meet gils, be around them, and make sure they don't all treat you as a friend.

[20YearOldVirgin]

^^^ see all that. STFU and just go meet gils, be around them, and make sure they don't all treat you as a friend.

how...

seriously ill pay you to instruct me step by step and walk methrough this

[siopawman]

Listen up and take some notes from the guys and gals here. Juan and CD have you on the right track!

* Don't worry about it; let what happens, happen.

* Some lady wants to do it with you, you do it. Practice makes perfect. Practice is fun.

* Because a woman wants to have sex with you doesn't mean she's a slut. You can do better than a slut anyway, right? She wants to have sex with you because she wants to have sex with you. Enough said.

* Go where the women are. Hang out, talk, and make yourself known. (However, not known as the guy that hasn't had any women. You know what I mean.)


* Don't worry about a relationship. You're not looking for a relationship. You're looking for sex. It's different. Besides, you're in college. You're around way to many women that want to have sex. Relationships are for down the road (unless you run into a really great woman. I mean a really great woman...)

* Always have condoms. Always. Keep 'em in your pocket, your backpack,...... everywhere. Safe sex is the best sex. Remember, you're not in a relationship...

* Have fun.


====

above says it all...

you don't need to pay anyone here, just do things, if you're not comfortable, STOP. you could always stop when you're not sure what you're doing.

if you don't have a condom, ask her if she have, if there is none and both of you are so freak'n horny, think of a safe place to go (your pad or hers? motel maybe) and buy a rubber on the way.

its not so simple to explain things because it would always depend on the situation that you are at.

[Queso]

life isn't like a porno. You can't just go up so someone, talk to them for five minutes, and expect them to say "fuck me know!"... unless you're Juan.

It takes time, like the 'saying hi' scenario. You say hi to the girl passing by, she may say hi back or maybe just smile but she still acknowledged you. Maybe she passes by again sometime, recognizes your from before and says hi or waves. Slow progress but progress none the less.

And don't hit on girls in the supremarket. You get no response from them because they're working. They're not just gonna ignore the other people in line behind you to go off and chat or fuck. And buying a comb isn't that odd. I'm sure they see plenty of fucked up shit go through there and have the courtesy and smart mindedness not to comment on the guy buying a bunch of bananas, vaseline and a frozen turkey.

[20YearOldVirgin]

And don't hit on girls in the supremarket. You get no response from them because they're working.

So pretty much I'm screwed then (not in a good way)?

[Weezer1982]

Some of the stuff can't be taught. Its all natural instinct and how you feel. These guys are giving you great advice. Do what feels right and be brave.

[fmb]

If I'm walking down the hallway and see a random girl whom I find attractive walking on the other side of the hallway going the opposite way coming near me, what do I do, just say hello? What is that going to accomplish? If she's friendly she'll say hello back, but that's it.

You're getting the point. You may not have time to talk now, but may run into her somewhere else. Saying hello to her allows you some unpressured time to be friendly to the lady. Later, you'll find the key to knowing if she wants additional conversation is in her smile, eyes, and body language. This will take some time, but pay attention to how a lady responds (if any) to you.

And if I even got lucky and found a girl who wasn't walking, and was stationary doing something, I'm supposed to go up to them and start talking to them even know I don't know them and have never seen them before? What would I say?

Hell yeah, go talk to her. No one here, or anywhere else, can tell you what to say. Personally, if I saw an approachable woman (meaning she doesn't look busy with something, on the phone, etc) a may sit close by and just start with some small talk about the great weather, a local event, or something. If her body language doesn't change to "get away" or "don't talk to me", chat a little more. About what? It's up to you. Maybe she's wearing cool shoes, has unusual sunglasses, hell it doesn't matter. The point is, she's neutral about you or open to you. Anyway, the goal is some casual, small talk.


I've been practicing on cute girls at the supermarket ringing my stuff up, trying to start conversations with them since it's easy to start conversations with them. But none of my conversations with them lead anywhere, it always ends with "have a nice day" and that's it.

Forget trying to pick up the supermarket chick; at least forget about trying to pick her up while she's working. Part of her job is customer service; smiling, saying hello, and seeming cheerful is what she does. Do say hello and be courteous back to her. Who knows, you may bump into her somewhere else and have an opportunity to speak further with her.

Two days ago I put a cookie in my coat pocket (earlier while shopping) and as the girl was ringing my stuff up I said "oops I almost forgot this!" and whipped the cookie out and threw it down on the counter. I at least got her to say something to me and smile, she said "careful I'll have to call the police on thiefs!" in a joking manner while smiling. I smiled back but that's all that happened she just said "have a nice day" 2 seconds later then moved on to the next customer.

Good, you've got some game and have displayed some creativity; however, use caution on the creativity. Accusations of shoplifting will torpedo your goal. :) Notice your ploy got you additional contact and some humor from her. Keep building on what you have!

[Queso]

So pretty much I'm screwed then (not in a good way)?
only if the only time you ever see a girl is behind a counter, which I highly doubt.

[Juan.Camaney]

how...

seriously ill pay you to instruct me step by step and walk methrough this
You can't afford my labor rate...even if I am mexican.

If you need help on how to shut up and be around women, you have no reason to be looking for strange. If you are trying to increase your odds of getting laid and start a topic out with "I don't like clubs/bars/parties" you are in for a world of masturbating alone.

No one really likes clubs...its loud, it smells, the drinks are too expensive, and all the homos have the women crowding around them. Your job is to go there, pick out a drunk overzelous chick, let her do a lot of the talking and trick her into leaving with you. How you do that is up to you.

I don't see you getting laid any time soon with your attitude though. Seriously, you will end up losing it to a hooker, or to the first piece of ass that finds out she can take advantage of you and all you want is to get laid every once in a while.

[shagnasty]

You are definitely worrying too much about this. I used to be the same way a little bit, but I've learned a few things.

Say hi to the girls that are randomly walking by you. The ones I say hi to usually have positive expressions on their faces after I greet them. A lot of these ladies seem almost surprised that someone was initiating conversation with them. Very few of them retain a neutral blank look, and I can't remember a time when I have crossed a woman who had a negative expression on her face. Hell if she does have a negative look after you're friendly to her, you need to wonder what she has stuck up her ass to make her such a bitch.

Another thing I learned is that being drunk completely takes away this little insecurity about women. You don't like parties? You must not be drunk. If you don't want to pay for sex, and want the easy way out, go get drunk where there are a lot of drunk women, initiate conversation, and let it go from there. I think you'll find that a lot easier than trying to get the supermarket chick to go on lunch and bang you in the closet.

And forget about the chick you had in your class 3 weeks ago. She's long gone. There is no one perfect woman, but there are more fish in the sea.

[20YearOldVirgin]

And forget about the chick you had in your class 3 weeks ago. She's long gone. There is no one perfect woman, but there are more fish in the sea.


Yep. I actually have her myspace.com account and I checked it and she just changed it to "in a relationship" today! It was "single". So she met someone else while she was on vacation. Damn, I almost had her too because she liked me I know she did and me and her shared a really strong common interest that not many people know about or like.


Should I try to at least get her as a friend next time I see her, and hope she leaves the loser she's dating now? Or just forget about her entirely and be an asshole to her the next time I see her and be condescending? When I see her and she says "hi" I was thinking about just ignoring her, and she this chick is also kind of a slacker, she always turns her work in late and the professor always yells at her. When the professor yells at her, I was going to go up to her and while she's making her excuses, I will say "No, it's because you're lazy, nothing more."

Good idea or bad idea? What should I do in regards to her?

[20YearOldVirgin]

Another thing I learned is that being drunk completely takes away this little insecurity about women. You don't like parties? You must not be drunk. If you don't want to pay for sex, and want the easy way out, go get drunk where there are a lot of drunk women, initiate conversation, and let it go from there. I think you'll find that a lot easier than trying to get the supermarket chick to go on lunch and bang you in the closet.
Well see the problem is I'm a recruit for the NY State Police and if I go to parties and get drunk, I can get in a lot of trouble very quickly. The last thing I need is some drunk girl saying I raped her, or me getting drunk and doing some drugs at the party.

So parties basically are out for me. I know they are an easy way to get laid, but surely there must be other ways? Please train me these other ways.

[Juan.Camaney]

:lmao: You want to be on the friendship ladder? What part of forget about that broad didn't you understand?

Here, maybe this will help you cope with the stupid approach you are taking to this.

I want to get high for the first time ever SO bad. However I don't want to be around drug dealers, or parties or clubs, as they aren't my thing. I hang around people that might want to smoke weed too, but I can't talk to them because I'm scared. Maybe some day, someone will knock on my door and offer to give me some marijuana and I can be happy.

Please teach me how to score weed without dealing with drug dealers.


So...do you grasp the irony here? It's the basic function of men and women. Men chase women and put up with shit we don't like in an effort to get our dicks in them every now and then.

You want me (or someone else) to teach you hot to put up with these things in order to score? Not possible.

You want me (or someone else) to give you this magical key that you think will expose you to a plethora of shaved pussies waiting to fall lubed right on your dick. Not possible.

Seriously, you sound like an idiot. Not being harsh here, just basically destroying your perception of how you think this will happen and opening your eyes to the inevitable truth behind having a sex life....which is, YOU WILL HAVE TO DEAL WITH SHIT YOU DON'T LIKE IN ORDER TO GET A PIECE OF ASS.

[Juan.Camaney]

and since you are not willing to listen and just want to be annoying I am locking this thread.