I need advise, im lost....

[89tracerman]

well i have been dating this girl for 2 years, we have had lots of problems. I keep telling her it's not gonna work out but she keeps insisting, Well my problem is that she is afraid to be without me, last two times i have tried to break up with her she ends up in the hospital, she has a brain tumor, last night i told her we should go separate ways, she went into shock, her tumor started bleeding, her blood pressure was very low, doctors had to pump out blood from her stomach, they had her on a breathing machine, the works... I don't want anything to do with her, but I do not want her to die because i break up with her. I know i should not be with her because of pitty but i am just lost....

help me please.....

NEED TO KNOW INFO:
her dad does not like her since mom was raped and she was born, mom listens to husband, granny took her in now granny wants to live alone, she just moved to apartment and I'm the only one she has, every time i want to leave her i feel like im her dad and im abandoning her, she cries and begs me to stay...

[TransientGuy]

The top priority at the moment is to get her health back on track. So I'd avoid any discussions with her about the relationship for the time-being.

In the meantime, you'll just need to show her some support and understanding. Yes, it sucks for you to get involved in something like this. But sometimes, we just need to reach out and help a fellow human being who's in need.

I really think that you should seek out some trained professionals for help. The hospital may be a good place to start, talk to her doctor. They should have people trained in that sort of thing and should be able to point you in the right direction.

In the long-term, the girl would probably require some sort of professional counselling. She just had too many issues in her life.

[ryster]

That is a nasty situation. I think it would be awful to abandon someone with that sort of medical problem, but I also think it would be awful to spend your life with someone you do not love.

I would be upfront with her, tell her that you do not want to be her boyfriend/husband, but (and of course this is only if you are willing to except this responsibility) you will be like a brother to her.

I'm suggesting this because someone with that sort of history (and a fucking brain tumor for god's sake) isn't going to do so hot on their own. She needs help, and professional counseling could give that. But she also needs security, and thats something that only family can bring. If you can explain to her that you don't want to spend the rest of your life with her (in a marital sense), and that you don't feel for her in that way, maybe she will understand how wrong it is of her to try to force you to do that. If you are willing to be there for her in a brotherly manner, you all could live your lives just as any other brother and sister would.

It's a major commitment, but based of what you've said I think its the best plan. Brain tumors are serious business, and if it starts bleeding at the slightest upset she is in for a rough ride, but probably a very short one too. I don't know how you feel, but from the sound of it she has nobody. Bring her into your family, give her some security. You make it clear that your not interested in her as a wife/partner, maybe you all can live happy lives.

I dunno. This is really far from anything I've ever gone through, so I'm just basing my opinion off morals and beliefs, rather than actual experience. In the end it's your call, whatever you decide is up to you, just don't decide such for the wrong reasons.

[jackcollins]

common tracerman the most important thing here is her health. When she cures of her tumor you better leave her but now she needs you either you love her or not.