Asking out a neighbor

[Bigeme]

I have a really cute neighbor that I want to ask out. The problem is that I have only talked to her once and don't ever bump into her. I want to know if anyone has any success in a situation like this? I know she has two roommates, so just knocking on the door doesn't seem like it would be very successful. I guess really what I am asking is how to "bump" into her more often without like loitering in front of the door?

[michaeljohn]

Ideas, no particular order....

Have a barbeque and invite her and her roomates....
Be around the house more until you figure out what hours you are likely to run into her.
Run into her outside of the neighborhood. (Just don't stalk her).
Bring other girls over frequently and hope she notices that.

[Weezer1982]

Try to make small talk with her but don't scare her away. Just be yourself and find out if she's single or taken. If things feel right, ask. Good luck!

[jeffc574]

Have gone out with two neighbors very successfully. Where I live know two couples met on the steps and are now married. Try being around when she gets home from the store. Help with the groceries.

[canu]

Get out in the front or back yard do some work make yourself be seen.

[Bigeme]

Thanks for the advice. I'm just trying to find an excuse to hang out near the door so that I can make small talk. I rarely see my neighbors and its an apartment, so I can't do yard work. The weather is too cold to reasonably sit outside and read a book.

[kulotsalot]

Try organizing an apartment party or get-together? When I was living in an apartment I kinda wanted to meet my neighbours but the only real event that made that happen was an AGM, which is not really conducive to making friends.

Some friends of mine organized a block party of sorts (but just for their own little street) and a lot of people turned out and everyone was like "We should've done this a long time ago, this is great!"

Hopefully you live with people who would be into something like this.

[fmb]

Throw a party and place an invite for her and the roomies at/under her door. If she shows, great! If not, you still have a party going!

[Bigeme]

Thanks for the advice. I don't think I will have time to have a party any time soon, but it is something that my roommate and I talked about previously. I guess I'll just hope to run into her again or have to wait until I have more free time.

[Bigeme]

Well, I fucked this up pretty badly. This morning I found her ID outside our apartment. I sent her a message and brought it by her place later. She was at home all alone and I couldn't bring myself to like speak. So I just kind of handed her her ID and like walked away. Dammit I want to kick myself so hard right now.

[CD]

Well, I fucked this up pretty badly. This morning I found her ID outside our apartment. I sent her a message and brought it by her place later. She was at home all alone and I couldn't bring myself to like speak. So I just kind of handed her her ID and like walked away. Dammit I want to kick myself so hard right now.
:duh:

Don't worry... you aren't the only one that wants to kick you right now.

ALWAYS think about what you will say when you know ahead of time you have something you need to see her about (ID). Damn... did it ever occur to you that she may have done that on purpose?

[Bigeme]

:duh:

Don't worry... you aren't the only one that wants to kick you right now.

ALWAYS think about what you will say when you know ahead of time you have something you need to see her about (ID). Damn... did it ever occur to you that she may have done that on purpose?

Yeah I thought about it. I actually went back up there after I posted and knocked, but she didn't answer :sad2:

Oh well. I got her as a facebook friend and I think I found out a little about her school schedule today, unless she just skipped class this morning.

I did think about what I was going to say, but just completely drew a blank when I got up there.

[CD]

Yeah I thought about it. I actually went back up there after I posted and knocked, but she didn't answer :sad2:

Oh well. I got her as a facebook friend and I think I found out a little about her school schedule today, unless she just skipped class this morning.

I did think about what I was going to say, but just completely drew a blank when I got up there.
Next time (if) that opportunity arises again, have a drink (not more then 1 or 2) before you go. It'll kick a few of the nerves away and allow you to speak without the deer in the headlights approach.

[Juan.Camaney]

If you don't have time to party you have no business looking for a woman.

[Bigeme]

If you don't have time to party you have no business looking for a woman.

Why is that? Can't we just hang out watch a movie and sleep together?

[Juan.Camaney]

Are you a millionaire and about as good looking as Goerge Clooney?

No, you can't. Going to a party takes as much time as those things anyway. You have to work to get the ass and you have to work at a relationship, SPECIALLY you if you couldnt even bring yourself to talk.

This shit takes work, man.

[Bigeme]

I think the idea of a party is out anyway. One set of my neighbors called the cops on another this past week, so I don't see that going over well.

I know it takes work, but I'm not interested in just a hook up. I've never seized up like that before. I mean I'm not the suavest guy in the world, but I can usually say something, especially if I have a plan ahead of time. Oh well, maybe next time.

[Juan.Camaney]

"Oh bigeme, you have wooed my college girl personality by hanging out and watching movies. Here! Take this pussy and make love to it"

Not gonna happen, guy.

[CD]

I think the idea of a party is out anyway. One set of my neighbors called the cops on another this past week, so I don't see that going over well.

I know it takes work, but I'm not interested in just a hook up. I've never seized up like that before. I mean I'm not the suavest guy in the world, but I can usually say something, especially if I have a plan ahead of time. Oh well, maybe next time.
Neighborhood clubhouse. Ask neighbors if they'd like to join up and rent it as a group and have a get to know your neighbor event with cooking out and games.

[Bigeme]

"Oh bigeme, you have wooed my college girl personality by hanging out and watching movies. Here! Take this pussy and make love to it"

Not gonna happen, guy.

"Oh bigeme, you got drunk and hit on me at a party."

Yeah, thats just as likely to work...

I'm not saying that's how I expect to make a move. I just want to be in a relationship. I definitely know how to take a girl out and show here a good time, but in the long run, I don't want to have a party every time I get laid.

CD - That's a good suggestion, but as of recent occurrences, I don't think most of my neighbors like each other. I don't know of any locations like that. I would have a bbq, but its too cold for that now.

[Juan.Camaney]

I guess I misread and thought you don't have time to party at all.

Why do you want to be in a relationship so bad? Didn't you break up with your girl not too long ago? Don't tell me you're one of those people that hate being alone...

Seriously, go knock on her door and ask for her. What's so weird about that? Tell her you see her every once in a while, you think she is attractive, you'd love to get to know her and maybe take her out?

Women don't bite...unless you want them to.

[fmb]

Seriously, go knock on her door and ask for her. What's so weird about that? Tell her you see her every once in a while, you think she is attractive, you'd love to get to know her and maybe take her out?

Women don't bite...unless you want them to.
Juan is right on with his statement; get your ass down there and ask her out. She'll either say yes or no. If she goes, you have a great time, and y'all go out for several other times, then make a decision about a relationship. Why are you thinking about a relationship if you will not ask her out?? I'm just asking.....

She'll say yes or no; either way, life goes on.

[supersatch]

I also agree on the frontal approach. You really have restricted our playing field here with the appartment/ strict, hating neighbors/ no time to party thing you got going there.

The number 1 rule: women love confidence. What's more confident than a man willing to brave discerning roommates to ask out a girl he's into. If she says no, at least she's have respect for you instead of catching you in the act of "bumping into her" and thinking you're a stalker. Hell, that might give you the upper edge in the first place.

Just a suggestion; I would have a wingman on call just in case one of the roomates is that lonely, "I stay in, you need to stay in" type.

Happy hunting

[Bigeme]

I guess I misread and thought you don't have time to party at all.

Why do you want to be in a relationship so bad? Didn't you break up with your girl not too long ago? Don't tell me you're one of those people that hate being alone...

Seriously, go knock on her door and ask for her. What's so weird about that? Tell her you see her every once in a while, you think she is attractive, you'd love to get to know her and maybe take her out?

Women don't bite...unless you want them to.

I broke up with my ex about a year and a half ago. I haven't been with anyone since - not for not trying, but I am incapable of random hookups. It's just not something that I am interested in and after having several girls in my room half naked and not being able to seal the deal, I decided that I need the emotional aspect of sex to enjoy it.

I do hate being alone, but I'm not trying to be with someone just to be with someone. I need to go through like 50 girls before I find one that I want to talk to. I need more ways to meet women. I love sex, but I can't sleep with someone I don't feel connected to in some way. I love falling asleep next to someone and waking up the next morning and telling her that I love her. I want to mean it though, so I need to meet more women so I can find one worthwhile.

I've realized how I fucked this situation up. I'm pretty sure she's dating someone now (I've seen her dressed up going out with this guy a couple of times). I'm not really concerned because I don't know this girl at all, I just thought she was pretty. I've gotten to know another girl over the past few weeks who I think is a much better match for me anyway, so I'm already settled on asking her out sometime next week.

Anyway, I appreciate all the advice. I never realized how fucking scared I was until I went up there and couldn't say shit. I can hit on girls at bars and parties that I don't care about with no problem, but I built this up for some reason and got scared. I just guess I'm afraid of failure and being forward like that doesn't seem like a high probability of success. I'm not writing it off completely, but I'm focusing on this other girl and we'll just see.

I'm working on not being a pussy and just trying to get through as many girls as possible, but its not something I'm good at nor do I have a great environment to do it. I do appreciate the advice and I know its frustrating, but thanks.

[Juan.Camaney]

...but I am incapable of random hookups. It's just not something that I am interested in and after having several girls in my room half naked and not being able to seal the deal, I decided that I need the emotional aspect of sex to enjoy it....
I get like that every once in a while when my brain kicks in and I realize hooking up with that person will have consequences I might not want to deal with. It does get easier with time. I had the same issue after I broke up with the 1st real GF I had of 6 years....Just couldn't get it up...then usually on the shame ride home I'd get a boner and end up at that cunt's house getting my kicks on. You need a girl who is willing to relax you through the whole ordeal and suck ur willy until you're hard....or nut...yeah I figured a loooong time ago you can actually nut without erection. :graffin: