What Would You Do?

[Cards705]

SO here we go.......

My ex broke up with me 6 months ago for this reason: I love you but Im not sure if Im "in" love with you anymore and to see if this relationship is what she really wants because life is "short."

Now lets fast forward to the present, just last week she told me that she wanted to get back together, meanwhile I have been dating someone else. The idea of getting back with my ex is nice to me esp since we were together for 5 years I know that with this new girl it would break her heart, really I dont know if I just like the idea of getting back with her because it is comfortable and I really dont know if she would break up with me again......the reason why I say this is because I was planning on marrying this girl. wondering what would you do or any advice would be nice, thanks.

[fmb]

Not to be a pain in the rear, but in some previous threads/posts you posed this question. Most here told you to forget her, move on, and enjoy your life. Sometimes, you have to get knocked around alot before you can break whatever "connection" you think still exists.

Me? I'd be blocking her calls, text messages, and removing her from my email address list. In the end, it's up to you.

[UrbanHustle]

I'd have to agree with fmb. You've been with her for 5-years, and not only her, but YOU need to test the water. You going back to her right now would be a death sentence. It's like she wanted to break up for a quick fuck with someone else.

[Cards705]

yeah i realize ive kind of posted this question before but its never been to where she wants to actually get back with me, anywhoo thanks anyway

[fmb]

Not all cases of trying to put things back together fail; it's just one hell of an uphill battle to push a relationship back up a hill where it used to be, and farther! I'd better be hearing some very good, plausible, well thought out reasons from her as to why I should even give her my listening time.

In your past posts, I think you said she kinda played you along and used you so she wouldn't be alone. Her past actions speak volumes about what your future with her may hold.

I still wouldn't go back.

[abcde123]

I think you should read the other thread "Update on the Single Life" in this same folder.

[kulotsalot]

Think about this: When people break up, it's because something is up. You may not know what it is (if you did not instigate the break up) but regardless, something is not right with the relationship.

Do you think that in the 6 months you've been apart she's fallen back in love with you? Or is it just that she's tired of the "newly single" scene and now wants something comfortable and predictable again, so she defaults to wanting to get back together with you?

If she hasn't fixed whatever it was that was wrong in the initial break up (and I sincerely doubt it) then getting back together for the sake of getting back together would be foolish indeed.

[@man2girlz]

if breaking up with the new girl you're with would 'break her heart' doesn't that indicate that you feel her to be close to you and that she has deep feelings for you? If so, that is worth exploring more than getting together with a girl who 'broke your heart' before, imo.

[maggiesdragons]

stay with the new girl, don't go back to the old girl.


She will just break up with you when she finds a new guy, don't risk your new relationship for that

[Juan.Camaney]

lol typical woman BS. As soon as they see that you can actually be okay without them, date other girls and get laid elsewhere, all of a sudden they want you back.

I don't know what kind of advice you are expecting here, but all I could really add is, you would be one stupid mother fucker to even give that other girl a second look. She left you for a reason, and in 5 months with someone else it hasn't changed what you couldn't get right in 5 years.

I'd say dump them both and keep getting laid. But whatever, people like you will learn the hard way, fuck yet another girl over, cuase lots of lost friday nights with some bitch who isn't right for you, and typically make everyone involved a little more bitter.

[gen. cutter]

i agree with the majority of posts here. listen well to them.

from experience:

yes, she is just asking you back because she misses someone she is comfortable with.

yes, she is also jealous thinking of you with someone else and probably what she wanted when she left you isn't working out.

yes, there is something wrong with the relationship if she wants out after 5 years. and you owe her a thank you for making it easy on you by HER breaking it off with you.

once it's over...let it go. it hurts for a while, and you'll double think your decision again and again, but remove her name from your phone and her block her email address and feel satisfied that she's kicking herself for ever leaving such a great guy like you.

p.s.: if she left you once for the reasons she gave you, it's quite probable it'll happen again.

good luck.

[Cards705]

Yeah i have the question in my head.....whats to stop her from doing it again?????? that seems to be the big question, I guess I just need to shut up and take your advice, thank you to everyone who responded.

[powder19]

i had the same experience, aka the thread titled update on the single life, and going back to your ex while it might seem great at first will just make you miserable later on, i cut my ex off a few months ago, then we started seeing each other again and within that week she was dating another guy but still using me for comfort and doing the things we did when we were together, then you have to go through the post breakup feelings all over again...personally if you have any feelings at all that it isn't going to work or any worries than don't do it, in the end trusting your gut is the way to go and you'll find that girl sooner or later where you don't have those worries

[umpire00]

It's not worth the headache.
Stay with the new girl and see where that takes you.

[nobody]

Stay with the new girl. No matter what your ex tells you, she dumped you because she thought she could do better. She found out she was wrong. I wouldn't trust her. As soon as a guy with a better job or bigger dick smiles at her, she won't be "in love with you" anymore.

[loverofporn]

I have to say that the whole "I love you, I just don't know if I'm "in" love with you" is just a nice way of saying "I'm bored and want to go out and date a bit until I realize what I have here is good enough for me".

I have to also say that although asking for advice is good, it's ultimately your decision and you need to do what feels right to YOU.

It definitely is not an easy singles world out there so think it over. My guess is your ex isn't going anywhere anytime real soon so take some time to figure it out.

[powder19]

I know I already posted on here, but its definitely easier said than done...I still think about my ex all the time, she was a huge part of my life, and regardless of what we are going to tell you on here you will make your own decision. In my situation she seems confused and shes young and so am I and for now we both needed to find out what we need, if it comes back then thats what will happen, but its important for just her, but for YOU as well to go out and make sure that is what you want. In my situation I was so blown away at what was going on I straight up told her I wasn't going to contact her anymore in any way, shape, or form and its up to her if she wants to talk to me or anything she knows how to find me...easy as that...now its in her court and I can go on with my life...who knows what will happen down the road, but if you've got doubts don't waste your time, my girl broke up for some reason, saying she loves me, but not in love, since then shes gone through 3 boyfriends all who have been huge douches, so if she doesnt figure it out thats her loss, in the end its gotta be about you...good luck I feel for you cuz I'm in the same boat, but for now I'm not even gonna consider anything with my ex for at least 6-8 months and probably longer than that cuz right now its just not worth it...good luck man

[cestmoi2010]

3 words of advice

DTB

Dump
That
Bitch

As others have said she only came back because whatever she had working on the side fell thru and now she is scrambling looking to get back with you as opposed to being with no one

she is NOT in love with you - she just wants to be with you because she doesn't want to be alone