work training memo

[Bipolar]

Memo to all employees:

In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity
from employees, it will be our policy to keep all employees well trained
through our program of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (S.H.I.T)

We are trying to give our employees more S.H.I.T than anyone else. If you feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T on the course, please see your supervisor. You will be immediately placed at the top of
the S.H.I.T list, and our supervisors are especially skilled at seeing you get all the S. H. I. T. you can handle.

Employees who don't take their S. H. I.T. will be placed in DEPARTMENTAL
EMPLOYEE EVALUATION PROGRAMS (D.E.E.P.S.H.I.T).

Those who fail to take D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T seriously will have to go to EMPLOYEE ATTITUDE TRAINING (E.A.T.S.H.I.T).

Since our supervisors took S.H.I.T before they were promoted, they don't
have to do S.H.I.T anymore, and are all full of S.H.I.T already. If you
are full of S.H.I.T, you may be interested in a job teaching others. We
can add your name to our BASIC UNDERSTANDING LIST of LEADERS

(B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T).

For employees who are intending to pursue a career in management and consulting, we will refer you to the department of MANAGERIAL OPERATIONAL RESEARCH EDUCATION (M.O.R.E.S.H.I.T). This course emphasizes how to manage M.O.R.E. S.H.I.T

If you have further questions, please direct them to our HEAD OF TEACHING, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (H.O.T.S..H.I.T).

Thank you,

BOSS IN GENERAL, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (B.I.G.S.H.I.T)

P.S. Now send this S.H.I.T to 5 people who need S.H.I.T in their life,

just not the same person who sent you this S.H.I..T They have already had their fill of S.H.I.T

Thank you for your time.

Sincerely,

The Director Under the Main Bureau of Super High Intensity Training.
(The D.U.M.B.S.H.I.T).

[DDGuy]

:bowrofl:

Cut and paste and forwarding to all my team in office :grin:

[licupssy]

To: The Director Under the Main Bureau of Super High Intensity Training(The D.U.M.B.S.H.I.T)

Dear Sir,

In reference to your memo concerning your policy to keep all employees well trained through your program of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (S.H.I.T). As the acting head of the employees' union, the PEOPLE OF ORGANIZED POLLOCKS (P.O.O.P); it is my duty to inform you that a grevience has be filled on the behalf of all union members of the PEOPLE OF ORGANZIED POLLOCKS (P.O.O.P).

Apparently, the membership feels oppressed by your program of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (S.H.I.T). Also many of are members who have been placed into the DEPARTMENTAL EMPLOYEE EVALUATION PROGRAM (D.E.E.P.S.H.I.T) feel they have been placed there unfairly.

Also those already placed in the DEPARTMENTAL EMPLOYEE EVALUATION PROGRAM (D.E.E.P.S.H.I.T) are very concerned that they are not further mistreated with EMPLOYEE ATTITUDE TRAINING (E.A.T.S.H.I.T).

It is our hope the we will be able to resolve this matter at the local level. If not we will have to turn this over to the national orginization the FEDERATED UNION of LARGE LURKING OFFENSIVE FEMALES(F.U.L.L.O.F.P.O.O.P.).

The members have already taken up legal council should nothing be resolved at the local or national level. The are calling themselves as the PEOPLE OF ORGANIZED POLOCKS AGAINST SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (P.O.O.P.A.S.H.I.T). Surely, I don't have to tell you what kind of mess that will make for both of us.

Sincerely,

PEOPLES OF ORGINIZED POLLOCKS ~ HEAD EMPLOYEE ACTING DIRECTOR (P.O.O.P.H.E.A.D)

[Queso]

i remember getting that email before a long time ago. still funny though :lolhit: