masterbating to porn cheating or not?

[dallie]

i masterbate to porn am i cheating or not? its not like i'm picturing my wife and me in that situation. i'm definatly looking at the girls on screen and what about going to the nudey bars is that cheating also?

[Lazer]

Depends on the persons beliefs.. If they are that uptight to think that loking at porn, or visiting a nudie bar is cheating.. they have some issues..
I Don't think it's cheating at all.. Variety is the spice of life..
What sane person does not look at another human being and say they are atractive?

[facepeeler]

hell no it's not...you're not cheating, just enjoying yourself...everyone, no matter who you are, when they masturbate rely on stimuli, be it visual or mental. I read a report one day talking about this very thing. It said it's not considered cheating, because you are not participating in anything besides self gratification, and it even went on to say that men DURING SEX will imagine someone else, there's nothing you can do about it, it's unstoppable. I have even heard that masturbation itself is considered cheating by some prudish groups.


/2 cents

[Bonecrusher]

So....lets just say someone brought up some pics of a dudes girlfriend scantly clad in crime scene tape.........and he checks around the room to ensure he is alone before pulling out his peter and giving it the once over.......is that dude cheatin'? or is he creepin' up on that other dudes gal?

I say whackin' it to porn is cheating if your spouse doesn't know...if you are hiding your porn addiction and the strip clubs from her then you are cheating...if you are including her then awesome...

[dallie]

theres no inclusion like there use to be,and i dont hide the fact that i go to the clubs,but my porn folder is kinda hidden!

[kulotsalot]

If you are no longer intimate with your wife then maybe the porn IS damaging your relationship. Otherwise if she's ok with it and she still gets the attention she needs, I'd say it's ok.

[Anibal]

There shouldnt be a problem unless you are DOING something with the girls in the clubs. Cmon people looking at porn cant be consider cheating... i said it in a nother thread here... if u consider looking at porn cheating then what do u think when u imagine or dream that you are with someone else (cause thats what u do when u masterbate to the porn vids ....) thats not cheating.

U should tell her you go to clubs and u have the porn.... IF SHE ASKS. Although she already knows, thats what we guys do ... and every woman knows it.

[CD]

With all the porn I have seen, you would think that I would have imagened my ex to be a different girl during sex. Well, I did - ONCE and that was only cause I never had before and wondered what it would be like. I didn't enjoy it cause I thought it took me away from "now" and went back to enjoying her and not a fake image of her.

In that reguard, I think that my porn watching has a limit to what it does to my relationships. Simple fact is I enjoy who I'm with, otherwise I wouldn't be with her.

[skept]

i masterbate to porn am i cheating or not? its not like i'm picturing my wife and me in that situation. i'm definatly looking at the girls on screen


There are two viewpoints here...

1) From a religious viewpoint - Looking at porno is lust. Since that lust is not directed towards your dearly beloved it is cheating... remember 'Forsaking all others' is a vow that you took.

2) Moral point. It is better to be looking and masturbating over porno then for you to go with a hooker / find a pretty thing to cheat on your wife with.


So... long story short - yes its cheating. If you are masturbating over porn and consequently your sexual relations with your wife decline then your cheating is going to develop into a serious problem.




what about going to the nudey bars is that cheating also?


Same thing different situation. Its cheating but rather then a controlled desire you are placing yourself in a situation that can potentially blow out and cause you to actually cheat.

My bottom line. If you are unsatisfied with your wife/partner, or things are slowing down a bit or getting a bit repetitive talk to her - Im sure she'll be willing to do more if you just talk and find out what the problem is.

Now I mean problem not as in shes got something wrong with her. She might just be run off her feet looking after kids/work etc. So you might just have to help her out a bit around the house or whatever - to give her that time to relax and in return who knows you might get more. But even then don't push it as in 'i cleaned the dishes gimme sex wench' - even if you help her out and she still gives you nothing - be satisfied with the fact that you are helping her out.

[dallie]

thanks dr.phil lol it really helps. you all make alot of sense,and there is nothing wrong with her i think our sex drive is different thats why i look at the porn and girls like someone said we want a "freak in the sheets a and a lady in the streets".

[Lazer]

So....lets just say someone brought up some pics of a dudes girlfriend scantly clad in crime scene tape.........and he checks around the room to ensure he is alone before pulling out his peter and giving it the once over.......is that dude cheatin'? or is he creepin' up on that other dudes gal?

I say whackin' it to porn is cheating if your spouse doesn't know...if you are hiding your porn addiction and the strip clubs from her then you are cheating...if you are including her then awesome...
That's crazy.
And we all know the same prudish women will deny masturbating to teh end...
Masturbation is a normal life function..

Two issues are bieng disccused here.
One is just looking at porn.
The other is deviant behavior about it I.E. covering it up, Being sneaky about it..

If your open about it with your sig. other. I say its fine. even if she dissaproves..

If your hiding porn, Being sneaky or doing deviant acts. then thats a problem.. .. Not cheating.. But a personal problem.

[Cuts O Meat]

I have this problem with my gf..
She does not like me watching porn when i pull my pud.. she would prefer it if i just did it in the shower or bed without any visual stimulation.. but the thing is, i can't just sit there and pull it, i need something visual to arouse me.. She says it's ok if i do it to the pictures i have of her, but she will hardly ever let me take pictures of her, and i can only do it to her pictures so many times.. and also, pictures do arouse me, but aren't visually stimulating enough to complete the job.. so that is why i like to watch porn vids.. now I'd be happy to exchange the porn for vids of my gf, but she will not let me point a video camera at her while she's naked..

I'm a very liberal guy.. my gf, she's very conservative.. I'm australian, she's american.. I'm non-religious, she's a firm believer.. i'm 25, she's 32.. there are quite a few differences between us.. but this seems to be the one we have the most trouble with.. I just don't see a problem with porn, i think it's completely natural.. she thinks it has an impact on our sex life.. well I'm always bugging her to have sex.. i like to screw about twice a day, with a day break here and there.. in other words i'm very sexually active.. my gf on the other hand does not like it as much as i do.. don't get me wrong, she's a fox when she gets me in the sack.. but she just doesn't have the same appetite for sex as i do..

but back on track.. I really don't see anything wrong with watching porn.. my belief is that if you are alone, and have no contact with anybody during, then it's absolutely no ones business but your own.. how could it be cheating when there is no interaction? my gf gets jealous of the pornstars, but why? they don't even know i exist!.. i read that someone in here brought up the religious aspect, but i'm not religious and will not conform to the comands of someone that IMO never existed.. now I'm all for my gf being religious.. she's got the right to do anything she pleases, as do i.. and IMO neither one of us have the right to stop the other from doing absolutely anything.. we should be exactly who we are, and if we can't live with one another like that, then we should be together..


IMO, rules in relationships don't work.. and watching porn isn't cheating..

[skept]

Its cheating because its lust. You are lusting over another woman and your thoughts are thoughts of you having sex with that other woman - hence why it is cheating. If you pull it off to your girlfriend/wife then it isn't cheating because your lustful thoughts are directed towards your significant other.

[Cuts O Meat]

I don't lust after the women in the vids.. they're all used up whore's, and most have busted faces.. i get off seeing the act of sex between a man and a woman, it's most erotic thing in my mind.. 2 women together doesn't do anything for me, because there's no sex.. while i pull it, i think about doing the same things to my gf.. not doing those things to the pornstar..

[bakaduin]

Wow. If looking at porn is cheating I'm going straight to hell. Seriously though in most cases a guy wants to have sex alot more then his wife (yes sometimes its the opposite though). If your wife doesnt want to have sex everytime your in the mood and you have to wack off to pictures to relieve yourself theres nothing wrong with that. Its better then getting with someone else.

[kulotsalot]

I have a question for the religious people out there, skept, maybe Juan (Juan you're opposed to gay marriages for religious reasons, right?), Justin, etc... isn't fornication (i.e. premarital sex/sex outside of marriage) sin? If so, why are some sins like fornication OK, and why are some sins like lust or homosexuality not OK... or are all of these not OK? Do people just turn the other cheek when it comes to something that is in their favor and not worry if it is sinful or not?

[cowboy085]

i dont think its cheatin, its not porn, its ART!!!!!

[CD]

I have a question for the religious people out there, skept, maybe Juan (Juan you're opposed to gay marriages for religious reasons, right?), Justin, etc... isn't fornication (i.e. premarital sex/sex outside of marriage) sin? If so, why are some sins like fornication OK, and why are some sins like lust or homosexuality not OK... or are both not OK? Do people just turn the other cheek when it comes to something that is in their favor and not worry if it is sinful or not?
And the hypocrocy of the Christians is brought to light. A sin is a sin is a sin... but only when a sin is something the person in question doesn't do themselves. I think the bible is a good story and brings a lot of valid points to the table, but life isn't black and white. Sometimes grey is the truth, and when the bible was written, grey wasn't either thought of or considered.
When I look at porn, I do not imagin fucking the girl; I actually just see the hottness of the event in question. I consider myself a good person (even without religion telling me how to live my life), and porn might just be my character flaw in the eyes of a large portion of America.

/CD

[skept]

I'll start a thread in EOTH with my answer with this so that we don't hijack this thread :)

I'll edit in a link to the EOTH discussion the second I finish my post :)

Linky To EOTH (http://forums.webrats.com/showthread.php?t=104861)

[Cuts O Meat]

interesting post.. but i'm not religious, so those rules don't apply to me..

[dallie]

basically masterbating to porn is less harmful than having a physical contac with someone else than your partner,even though its mental contac,and once the boys are empty we don't quite think the same way.for me that is

[Cuts O Meat]

there's no contact at all..

[Weezer1982]

no its not cheating!

[wudluv]

It's not cheating. I even download porn for my boyfriend to watch for when I am not in the mood. And sometimes knowing he is playing with himself turns me on and then I like to help himout.

As far as the strip clubs go , I prefer to go along with him. You would be suprised how many free lap dances a chick can get!

[muse]

i masterbate to porn am i cheating or not? its not like i'm picturing my wife and me in that situation. i'm definatly looking at the girls on screen and what about going to the nudey bars is that cheating also?
no it isn't.
my bf does it all the time, its just some people on a screen, so i don't see how that would constitute cheating...

[muse]

It's not cheating. I even download porn for my boyfriend to watch for when I am not in the mood. And sometimes knowing he is playing with himself turns me on and then I like to help himout.

As far as the strip clubs go , I prefer to go along with him. You would be suprised how many free lap dances a chick can get!
i am comfortable with porn, but not strip clubs...

[doug58104]

no man watching porn is not cheating or is masterbating to it so don't worry about getting your grove on or busting a nut over some hot babe

[jestor]

Things only got better when I confessed to my wife about watching porn. In fact, I had lots of home movies and pics with her, but the night we talked about this subject was the best sex we ever had. I had no idea that she liked it too and was very bi-curious. I guess I'm lucky that way. Lifes good.

[shadow_5_dogs]

Masterbating is a part of life...it is rare to find a women that will have sex with you at any point and time that you want to....so you just need to relieve some stress....it a ok...

[mushroomvr6]

nah.not cheatin.my girl knows i have porn.and she likes 2 watch it too sometimes.and she has a vibrator.which i got her.(she picked it).if she uses it wen im not there then so b it.as long as no-one else is involved wheres the harm.as long as its not replacing the real thing.self gratification is just a way to relieve the need 4 sex.at least u not sleepin around.whack away buddy.

[BlackPearlSpace]

porn is not cheating

[randomglitter]

I don't think masturbating to porn is cheating at all! My bf and I watch it together all the time, and we send each other files when we're apart. I know a few other couples like that too...you've gotta keep things spicy, you know?

The strip clubs are another story for me though. Then you're there with actual girls, not just images on the tv or computer. It's a little more personal.

[jaydub75]

I don't think that rubbing one out to porn is cheating at all. In my opinion, if you are with someone who is insecure enough to freak out about you lookin at it then that person has issues.

[UsrBinBoy]

no and no

no touching = not cheating